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Bitte eine Verbesserung zu meinem Article!

Frage: Bitte eine Verbesserung zu meinem Article!
(3 Antworten)


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Das wäre super, wenn ihr mich nochmal helfen könntet, da ich jetzt viele Englisch Texte schreiben möchte um im Unterricht besser zu werden.
Könntet ihr mich vielleicht auch eine mögliche Note auf meinen Text geben?

Vielen Dank!
Jenny

Detection of beauty

I saw in a youth magazine that the producers are looking for an article about beautiful people.
I am very interested about what makes a person good-looking, cosmetic surgery or is that true that beautiful people are more successfully? For this reason, I want to take part on this topic.

First, everybody says, beauty comes from the inside.
And this true. You have not to change you because an another wants to. You have the choice what you want to be and how you will look.
But there are many people, who have no self-confidence because of their folds, weight, their big nose or even their overweight. This is no reason not to go out and have fun. People with a problem like this become insecure and are afraid to be mocked.
Fact is, everyone is beautiful in his own way, that means, the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Nevertheless, to undergo a cosmetic surgery, because you did not feel comfortable in your own body is a bad idea. On the end of the operation it could be that the patient is full of scars and that looks awful.
It is right that plastic surgery is for accident victim a good thing, but I think the idea behind is, that people have after an accident a more comfortable life. But I did not understand, when people who looks beautiful, when they have got the money and the pain for a plastic surgery. I think that, people who have no medicine problems, should pay their operation by their own whatever they let to make on their body.
What is more, many Stars undergo a surgery and on the end, they look disfigure. Like Dolly Buster has a Botox face. On her body is nothing as before. In Botox are so many substances inside that the patient has after a surgical intervention many side-effects.

Next, responsible for the beauty mania are the companies, TV-shows and more. Every day we can see the pictures of tiny models in newspapers and magazines only with the help of photoshops. And that forget everyone that the pictures are not right.
Despite, I think beautiful people are more successfully in life, because they are idols for others. They are not too high and not too small, they can wear everything and looks already good and they have self-confidence. All in all, they are perfect.
Finally, don’t take care of these people. Life your live.
Frage von Jenny01997 | am 23.08.2017 - 08:41


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Antwort von chrn29 | 23.08.2017 - 17:36
Detection of beauty

In a youth magazine I saw that the editors are looking for an article about beautiful people.
I am very interested about what makes a person good-looking; cosmetic surgery, or is it true that beautiful people are more successfully? For this reason, I want to take part on this topic.

First, everybody says, beauty comes from the inside.


And it`s true. You don`t have to change yourself because somebody else wants you to. You can choice how you want to look like and who you want to be.
But there are many people who have no self-confidence because of their folds, their big noses or even their overweight. This is no reason not to go out and have fun. People with a problem like this could maybe become insecure or are afraid to be mocked.
Fact is, everyone is beautiful in his own way, that means, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Nevertheless, to do a cosmetic surgery because you don`t feel comfortable in your own body is a bad idea. In the end of the operation it could happen that the patient is full of scars and, in the worst case, doesn`t look prettier than before.
It is right that plastic surgery is a good thing for a victim of an accident, but I think the idea behind this is that people are able to have a more comfortable life after an horrible accident. But I don`t understand, why beautiful looking persons, who maybe would have the money for an operation, are spending lots of money to pretend that they look even better. I think that people who have no medicine problems should pay their operation by their own, whatever they want to change on their bodies.
It can often be seen that many Stars undergo a surgery and in the end, they look disfigure. For example Dolly Buster, she now has a botox-face. On her body is nothing as before. In botox are so many substances that the patient could react to afterwards.
Next, responsible for the beauty mania are the companies, TV-shows and more. Every day we can see pictures of sexy models in newspapers or magazines, who maybe only look pretty with the help of photoshop. And nevertheless it seems to be the thing that everybody always forgets that this probably is just the work of a computer program.
Despite, I think beautiful people are more successfully in life, because they are idols for others. They are not too tall and not too small, they can wear everything and it looks always good, and they have self-confidence. All in all, they seem to be perfect.
Finally, don’t take care of these people. Life your live.

Ich habe leider keine Ahnung, warum beim Veröffentlichen mittendrin ein YT-Link angezeigt wird- sorry! Aber ich hoffe, ich konnte helfen :)
Du hattest beim Kopieren des Textes wohl eine Werbeanzeige mit kopiert ;-) Habe es korrigiert.


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Antwort von Ritchy (ehem. Mitglied) | 23.08.2017 - 19:44
Hallo, aber am Ende muß es doch wohl heissen: Live your Life, oder...? Die Menschen werden immer schöner, weil sich eben nur Paare aus schönen Menschen "paaren", lol.


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Antwort von Jenny01997 | 28.09.2017 - 16:18
Ich danke euch sehr, für die rasche Verbesserung und die Meinung dazu. Lg. Jenny

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