Englisch aufsatz bitte schnelle rückmeldung

Hallo ich bitte um schnelle Rückmelung kann mir bitte jemand diesen Aufsatz verbessern.

Space Love
by Elias

A young women was watching at the sunset from a rock in front of a lake.
Then she heard a voice.
The voice of a shouting man. She stand up and was looking for the voice. She saw a young man in the middle of the lake and she thought that it` s her duty to help the man. She jumped into the water and saved the man` s life.
The father of the boy was a very rich buisnessman by way of thanks he gave the girl 10.000$. The woman wanted to fly with a rocket out of the orbit since she was a little girl.
So she went to a `Space Travel office`. There she booked a fly to the Space. As the day arrived and she was in the Space Shuttle she wasn`t alone.
The boy she safed his live was in it!
They both felt in love with each other. The first coincidence love in Space.
On the earth this story has touched all the people.