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Englischer Text: Korrigieren bitte

Frage: Englischer Text: Korrigieren bitte
(11 Antworten)

 
Kann mir jemand den Text korrigieren ?
ich hab es versucht zu verbessern

There is a man and a woman.
Called Alex and Mary.
They are on the Beach Florida. They travel to the Beach by car and be there since 3 hours. The family of them are a rich familly in England. They know each other from the university in London.The two study the same. The first time they meet eachother was on the lecture in the university. This was for 5 years. From the begginig they can good understand. Mary had played in a band and Alex was very interessed in them. So they spend much time together and later they fall in love. They have a nice time togehther. They fell the same to eachother. They are inseparable. Alex have plans for the future he wants to travel with mary all over the world. in the future they will be married. mary plans to get 2 childrens a boy and a girl. but of course there are arguments between the two. They discusse them to get a solution.
At first Mary wanted begin a career as a popstar but later she decided to go with alex because the relationship was more important but sometimes she regret this. She missed the chance to would be very famous. Alex havent career plans he like his life and he wouldnt like to change anything. Everthing was for him perfect. He can talk with Mary about everything and Mary can talk with Alex about everything.


Ist das so okey geschrieben ? Hat jemand Verbesserungsvorschläge ?
Da es ein freier Text sein soll bin ich mir unsicher
Die Vorgabe ist nur ein Mann und eine Frau die sich kennenlernen von der ersten Begegnung bishin zu Zukunftspläne zu schreiben.
GAST stellte diese Frage am 05.02.2012 - 12:34

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 12:48
Zitat:
There is a man and a woman.Called Alex and Mary.
They are on the Beach inFlorida.
They travel to the Beach by car and be there since 3 hours. The family of them are a rich familly in England. They know each other from the university in London.The two study the same. The first time they meet eachother was on the lecture in the university. This was for 5 years. From the begginig they can good understand. Mary had played in a band and Alex was very interessed in them. So they spend much time together and later they fall in love. They have a nice time togehther. They fell the same to eachother. They are inseparable. Alex have plans for the future he wants to travel with mary all over the world. in the future they will be married. mary plans to get 2 childrens a boy and a girl. but of course there are arguments between the two. They discusse them to get a solution.
At first Mary wanted to begin a career as a popstar but later she decided to go with alex because the relationship was more important but sometimes she regret this. She missed the chance to would be very famous. Alex havent career plans he like his life and he wouldnt like to change anything. Everthing was for him perfect. He can talk with Mary about everything and Mary can talk with Alex about everything.


immer noch nicht viel besser.
Nach einem Punkt schreibt man groß weiter; Namen werden groß geschreiben ; chidren = Kinder; bea chte, dass du fast den ganzen Text in der past tense form schreiben musst.; "sich treffen" heißt einfach "meet"; beachte bei "since" (Zeitpunkt) und "for" /Zeitdauer) verwendest du das present perfect; und etwas hast du gar nicht mitbekommen: der Aufbau eines englischen Satzes ist immer "S - P - O" im Gegensatz zui einem deutschen Satz,

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 12:50
ist es nur groß und kleinschreibung ? Oder auch inhaltlich ? also grammatische Fehler


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Antwort von *Nessie* (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.02.2012 - 12:52
Ich finde dein Text ist nicht grad fließend zu lesen. Es kommt mir so vor, als würdes du einfach nur Stichpunkte abhandeln. Versuch es ein bisschen fließender zu schreiben.

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 12:55
Das kommt hin weil es waren zuerst ja auch Stichpunkte die ich mir dazu gemacht habe.

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 13:02
Besser ?

There is a man and a woman. Called Alex and Mary.
They walk on the Beach Florida. They traveled to the Beach by car and be there since 3 hours. The family of them are a rich family in England.They have respected family s. Alex and Mary know each other from the University in London. The two study the same. The first time they met eachother was on the Lecture in the University. This was for 5 years. From the begginig they can good understand. Mary had played in a band and Alex was very interessed in them. So they spent much time together and later they fall in love. They had a nice time togehther. They felt the same to eachother. They are inseparable. Alex have had planned the future he wanted to travel with Mary all over the World. In the future they will be married. Mary plans to get 2 childrens a boy and a girl but of course there are arguments between the two. They discusse them to get a solution. At first Mary wanted to begin a career as a Popstar but later she decided to go with alex because the relationship was more important but sometimes she regret this. She missed the chance to would be very famous. Alex havent career plans he liked his life and he wouldnt like to change anything. Everthing was for him perfect. He can talk with Mary about everything and Mary can talk with Alex about everything.


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Antwort von *Nessie* (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.02.2012 - 13:03
Ich würde es so verbessern:

There are a man and a woman, called Alex and Mary.
Both are on the Beach in Florida, they traveled by car and were there since 3 hours. The family of them is rich and live in England. They firts met each other on the university in London.The two study the same. The first time they met eachother was on the lecture in the university. This was for ago 5 years. From the begginig they understand each other very good. Mary had played in a band and Alex was very interessed in them. So they spend much time together and later they fall in love. They had a nice time togehther. They are inseparable. Alex plans for the future was that he wants to travel with Mary all over the world. He want to marry here. Mary plans to get 2 childrens a boy and a girl, but of course there are arguments between the two. They discusse them to get a solution.
At first Mary wanted to begin a career as a popstar but later she decided to go with Alex because the relationship was more important but sometimes she regret this. She missed the chance to be very famous. Alex haven`t career plans he like his life and he wouldn`t change anything, everthing was perfect. He can talk with Mary about everything and Mary can talk with Alex about everything.

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 13:09
Du sagst "This was for ago 5 years. " Ist das nicht doppelt gemoppelt ? weil eigentlich kann man doch nur sagen This was 5 years ago


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Antwort von *Nessie* (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.02.2012 - 13:10
Sorry, ich meinte eigentlich "This was 5 years ago".

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 13:14
ah okey nix los
aber noch was "He want to marry here. "
Heißt das nicht he wants to marry with her
?


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Antwort von *Nessie* (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.02.2012 - 13:15
Sind vill ein paar Fehler drin, bin ja auch erst in der 9 Klasse.... Ich sag jetzt schonmal entschuldigung für die rechtschreib fehler.

 
Antwort von GAST | 05.02.2012 - 17:06
Zitat:
There are a man and a woman, called Alex and Mary.
Both are at a Beach in Florida, they travelled by car and have been(1) there for(2) three (3) hours. Theirfamilies are rich and live in England. They first(4) met (5) at a(6) university in London. They were studying the same subjects.. The first time they met (5) was during a lecture at their university. This was was years ago. From the beginnig they have understood (7) each other very well (8). Mary played in a band and Alex was very interested in it. So they spent much time together and later they fell in love. They had a nice time together. They have beeninseparable since then. Alex plans for the future were that he wanted(8) to travel with Mary all over the world. He wanted to marry her. Mary plans to have(9) two children (10), a boy and a girl, but of course there have been(11) arguments between them . Then theydiscuss them to find a solution.
At first Mary wanted to begin a career as a popstar, but later she decided to go with Alex because their relationship was more important but sometimes she has regretted(11) this. She missed the chance to be very famous. Alex doesn`t have(12) career plans. He likes(13) his life and he wouldn`t change anything, everything is perfect for him. He can talk with Mary about everything and Mary can talk with Alex about everything.


Nessie, du bist ja fast genau so ein "Blindgänger": um einen fremdsprachlichen Text richtig korrigieren zu können, bedarf es großer Erfahrung und eines umfassenden Wissens, was du als 9.-Klässler noch nicht haben kannst.

1) pres.perfect (wegen Signalwort since/for): vor einiger Zeit angekommen und immer noch da.
2)for weil hier die Zeitdauer angegeben wird
3)Zahlen bis zwölf werden ausgeschrieben
4)Rechtschreibung
5) SICH treffen heißt im Englischen nur "meet,(met, met)".
6) Präposition "at"; "a" statt "the", denn es gibt in Lo. viele Universitäten
7)pres.perf., denn hier "andauernder Zustand": seit damals bis heute verstehen sie sich.
8)past tense im Nebensatz, weil der Hauptsatz im past tense steht
9) have ist hier beser als get (get heißt eher "gebären")
10)children ist schon die Mehrzahlform von child; also kein "s"
11) vgl. 7
12)have ist hier Vollverb muss im Präsens mit do/does verneint werden
13) bei he she it im Präsens: "s" muss mit.

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