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Essay: kontrollieren bitte !

Frage: Essay: kontrollieren bitte !
(2 Antworten)


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ENVIRONMENT

Environment issues have become important topics in the recent years.
In today’s society the environment is a big problem. Especially the media represents occasionally, that the humanity has to change their attitude. Because although there is a widespread concern about problems such as climate change, nuclear reactor accident and animal extinction, the majority of people neither realize the true scale of the problems nor change something by thinking of alternatives, to improve our environment. In the following I would like to discuss this topic and at the end I am going to express my own opinion.

First of all let us look at some consequences which are influenced by our sustainability.(anderer Vorschlag statt diesem Wort?) Climate change is one of the biggest challenge that we face in the world today. Extreme weather events are becoming more frequent because emissions from coal-burning power plant and other pollutions trap heat in the atmosphere. This leads to glaciers melting, height temperatures, warming of the seas and other terrible results. So it would be advisable to not drive short routes by car because by bike you can make a contribution to the environment.

While it is true that nuclear power is cheaper, we must admit that there are also very negative aspects that go hand in hand with the positive ones. Let us think of Chernobyl or even better Fukushima. As we all know nuclear power plants present a risk when accidents occur and affected people have to live with suffering for generations. What is more is that they also produce a lot of nuclear waste. Supporter of these power plants ignore the environment because they keep the bad consequences secret.

In general I think that everyone of us could help to change our environment into better. Many of us tend to have big plans to change their behavior towards the environment, but they often fails to implement them. For sure it would be a big change for us to alter our attitude but could you imagine living without forests, clear air, clear water? Maybe when exactly that happens we will all notice that we have made a big mistake by treating our environment like we did. Don`t you that that we must take action before this occurs? Although the process is gradual and burdensome, any step toward improving our environment is a step in the right direction.

würde mich sehr über verbesserungs oder änderungsvorschläge freuen! :)
Frage von kirstn (ehem. Mitglied) | am 18.10.2011 - 17:43


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Antwort von Timea | 18.10.2011 - 19:07
Environmental issues have become important topics in the recent years. In today’s society the environment is a big problem. (naja nicht die Umwelt an sich ist das Problem, oder?!) Especially the media represents occasionally, that (ohne the!) humanity has to change their attitude. Although there is widespread concern about problems such as climate change, nuclear reactor accidents and animal extinction, the majority of people neither realize the true scale of the problems nor change something by thinking of alternatives, to improve our environment. In my essay I would like to discuss this topic and at the end I am going to express my own opinion. (eigentlich verzichten Lehrer auch gerne auf diesen Satz, weil das genau der Sinn und Zweck und natürlicher Aufbau eines Essays ist - viel besser ist eine Frage einzubauen um die Aufmerksamkeit des Lesers zu erlangen - zb: What is it we can really do to protect our environment? oder "Is there anything the individual can do to protect our environment?"


First of all let us look at some consequences which are influenced by our sustainability.(anderer Vorschlag statt diesem Wort?)(was genau möchtest du damit sagen? - was ist wodurch beeinflusst?) Climate change is one of the biggest challenges that we face in the world today. Extreme weather events are becoming more frequent because emissions from coal-burning power plants and further pollution(meines Wissens nach gibt es pollution nur in der Einzahl) trap heat in the atmosphere. This leads to glaciers melting, higher temperatures , warming of the seas and other terrible results. So it would be advisable to not drive short routes by car because by bike you can make a contribution to the environment.

While it is true that nuclear power is cheaper, we must admit that there are also very negative aspects that go hand in hand with the positive ones. Let us think of (evtl auch remember) Chernobyl or the more recent incident at Fukushima. As we all know nuclear power plants pose a huge threat and when accidents occur the affected people will have to suffer for generations. What is more is that nuclear power plants also produce a lot of nuclear waste. Supporters of these power plants ignore the environment because they keep the bad consequences secret.

In general I think that everyone of us could help to protect our environment. Many of us tend to have big plans to change their behavior towards the environment, but they often fail to implement them. For sure it would be a big challenge for us to alter our attitude but could you imagine living without forests, clear air, clear water? Maybe only when that happens will we all notice that we have made a big mistake by treating our environment like we did. Don`t you that that we must take action before this occurs? Although the process is gradual and burdensome, any step toward improving our environment is a step into the right direction.

An sich gar nicht schlecht, einige Fehler hab ich ausgebessert, das meiste sind aber eher Verbesserungsvorschläge ;)
LG


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Antwort von kirstn (ehem. Mitglied) | 18.10.2011 - 19:30
vielen Dank... :)
mir ging es einfach nur dadrum, ob man versteht was ich mit all dem sagen möchte, denn meine Lehrerin bemängelt meistens, dass eine klare struktur fehlt...

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