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Story-ending korrektur bis morgen bitte

Frage: Story-ending korrektur bis morgen bitte
(4 Antworten)


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wäre echt nett wenn mir das jemand bis morgen korrigieren könnte :)
das soll ein alternatives ende sein für eine geschichte die wir von unserer lehrerin bekommen haben.

Meanwhile a lucky thunderbolt hit the power plant and iniciate a total blackout so the rating computers turned off like thousands of televisions in this state, also.
"What now? You`ve got what you wanted! The TV ratings are on the minimum of the day." said Scout to Wayne.
"Yes, it`s time to give up." Wayne said seriously.
"But before this happens I`ll take you all to hell!"
"No! Have mercy with us!" said Bruce terrified.
In the meantime the luck hit them again in the truest sense of the word. A piece of the roof the SWAT has breached falled down on the head of Wayne. First nobody could realize what happened but after seconds they waked up from their shock. The SWAT team entered the room and noticed the dead of Wayne. All hostages got free and no one was injured. They made a party for their freeing. Five clowns danced arround the SWAT units and sprayed water in their faces out of false flowers. Last but not least Scout was punished by the court for 15 years imprisonment.
Frage von MajekPL (ehem. Mitglied) | am 01.03.2011 - 18:53


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Antwort von matata | 01.03.2011 - 20:09
Was war jetzt der Originaltext und was stammt von dir?

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Antwort von nachtnixe (ehem. Mitglied) | 01.03.2011 - 21:01
ich hab das so verstanden , dass alles von ihr ist.


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Antwort von MajekPL (ehem. Mitglied) | 01.03.2011 - 21:43
ja alles ist von mir . nur grammatik und rechtschreib korrektur der inhalt is im grunde egal wäre nett wenn das jemand schaft wollte es morgen abgeben :)


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Antwort von Geissbock | 02.03.2011 - 12:05
Meanwhile a lucky thunderbolt hit the power plant and iniciated a total blackout so the rating computers turned off like thousands of televisions.
"What now? You`ve got what you wanted! The TV ratings are on today`s minimum." said Scout to Wayne.
"Yes, it`s time to give up." Wayne said seriously. "But before this happens I`m going to take you all to hell!"
"No! Have mercy with us!" said Bruce terrified.
In the meantime the luck hit them again in the truest sense of the word. A piece of the roof the SWAT has damaged fell down on Wayne`s head. First nobody could realize what happened but after seconds they woke up from their shock. The SWAT team entered the room and noticed Wayne`s death. All hostages got free and nobody was injured. They made a party because of their freeing. Five clowns danced around the SWAT units and sprayed water in their faces out of faked flowers. Last but not least Scout was punished by the court to 15 years of imprisonment.

Garantiere allerdings nicht fuer sinngemaesse Richtigkeit, weil ich deinen Text teiweise gar nicht verstanden habe. Du schreibst etwas unzusammenhaengend und ausserdem waere es sinnvoll den Rest der Geschichte zu kennen.

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