Essay on America - Bitte um Korrektur!

hi, vielleicht findet ihr ja Fehler oder habt Vorschläge, was man besser machen kann oder was man noch dazu schreiben könnte. Ich würde mich auch darüber freuen, wenn ihr mir bei einer "eye-catching"-Einleitung und bei einem Schluss helfen könntet. Habe am 2. Mai Abschlussprüfung und dieser Aufsatz wird dafür sehr sehr sehr relevant sein!


America

America is a land with freedom and civil rights, a land where many immigrants live, a land with crime and where the death penalty is used.

America is also called the „American Dream“. It is different for everyone, but it consists of the ability to be successful, free and control our own destiny. Everyone lives in America as they want to live. Nobody says anything against other people’s way of life. They are all treated the same, therefore has everyone the chance to succeed.

However, many people think that the American Dream has changed into a nightmare, because not everything is as perfect as it might seem. There are for example a lot of crimes like drug dealing and drug taking. In addition, many people have illegal weapons, especially in cities. And also racism between blacks, whites and all immigrants, is a negative point of America. So, if you succeed and live the American Dream, you will be very happy, but if you fail, life can really be terrible and this could maybe lead to commit a crime.

Crime in America has become more gruesome with the time. It is a serious issue that affects the victims, offenders and their families and friends. Crimes include murder, manslaughter, speeding, hijacking, kidnapping, armed robbery, shoplifting, blackmail, drug-dealing and rape.

At first I want to say that anyone at any age who brutally murders another person should be tried as an adult. You might say that they don’t know right from wrong, but I would say that does not matter. If they are capable of brutally murdering, they shouldn’t have the chance to go on living normally after prison. They should stay in prison until they are dead, but they should not be permitted to exist in our society.

The biggest punishment is the death penalty. Killing another human isn’t a civilised response to anything, but sometimes they do deserve it. It is also good for society, because then they don’t have to pay so much for the offenders who are in prison. The perpetraters don’t have the oportunity to kill again and so life on streets would be better and safer. But on the other side innocent people can be killed, because D N A evidence is not alway available and the one who decides whether somebody dies or lives would also be a killer.
There are different punishments for death penalty, for example hanging, execution, electric chair and stoning.

We also have to ask, why somebody does criminal things. One reason is because of violence in the media. Especially children, who don’t learn that they shouldn’t imitate bad things they see on TV are committing crimes faster. They sometimes see violene as a very ordinary thing that people should perform.
In computer games where the task is to kill other people it is just shown that somebody dies, but the consequences are not shown. Filmmakers should not look forward only to make profits. They should also consider about results their shows have on society.

Immigration in America is also a hot issue. Immigrants are the backbone of the American economy. They do he tougher, dirtier jobs and the pay is not high, so they enable America to be competitive. Americans are an economic benefit. Another reason is that immigration solves the birthrateproblem that the Americans had in the past. Immigration also brings new culture and life to America.

There are also other difficulties, that immigrants often bring with them. Most Americans are afraid that the immigrants take their jobs. Another difficulty is the social problems. The schools nd hospitals can be overwhelmed by illegal immigrant pupils and patients. The American State must pay for every person. There are also unfair prejudices which cause tension, between the Americans and the immigrants.

The US presidential election seems never to end. It is held once every four years. An election amounts to several years of round-the-clock speculation, careful arrangements and fundraising. The two most prominent parties in the United States are the Republican and Democrat parties. Republicans are generally considered more conservative, and the Democrats more liberal.