Comment über self employment zur Korrektur

hallo leute
ich schreieb morgen eine englisch arbeit über self employment als comment und englisch ist nicht gerade meine stärke da ich gerade acuh eine woche gefehlt habe und zu mienem problem ich weiß nicht wie man einen guten comment schreibt ich habs hier mal versucht und danke jetzt schonmal herzlich für jeden tipp oder verbesserungsvorschlag danke für eure zeit


I think self employment can be a good thing but it has a big risk so I ask me is the risk to high ?
So I give a few arguments to decide easier.
As a self employer you can get much money but before you have high start-up costs or you have to work much hours sometimes all day what is very stressful or can be a problem for your familie.
Furthermore you are responsible for everthing that mean your workers, your business, for the safety of the firm…
If you are in a partnership, you can get into trouble with your partner or the worst case is that you can become bankrupt. But all these things have not be right because when you see the other side can you realize your own ideas, you have a feeling of freedom. I think a good argument is that you are your own boss, that mean no one can critize you and you have more influence of your profit. At my opinion the best argument is that you can become very rich (like bill gates).at the end my opinion is that self employment is very interesting thing with much risk and the arguments have convinced me at last can I say “no risk no fun”.