Comment über self employment zur Korrektur
Frage: Comment über self employment zur Korrektur(10 Antworten)
hallo leute I think self employment can be a good thing but it has a big risk so I ask me is the risk to high ? So I give a few arguments to decide easier. As a self employer you can get much money but before you have high start-up costs or you have to work much hours sometimes all day what is very stressful or can be a problem for your familie. Furthermore you are responsible for everthing that mean your workers, your business, for the safety of the firm… If you are in a partnership, you can get into trouble with your partner or the worst case is that you can become bankrupt. But all these things have not be right because when you see the other side can you realize your own ideas, you have a feeling of freedom. I think a good argument is that you are your own boss, that mean no one can critize you and you have more influence of your profit. At my opinion the best argument is that you can become very rich (like bill gates).at the end my opinion is that self employment is very interesting thing with much risk and the arguments have convinced me at last can I say “no risk no fun”. |
GAST stellte diese Frage am 05.12.2007 - 15:12 |
Antwort von ammy (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.12.2007 - 15:17 |
Comment writing: A. Preparation: 1.) Define the problem/subject 2. Gather and select arguments 3.)Group them according to their relevance and importance and their logical connection B. Writing the comment: 1.) Say what the problem/subject is. 2.) Introduce your opinion in a general evaluation of the problem. 3.) Prsent your arguments in detail. Give reasons for your view. Two possible kinds of structure: - one argument follows the other, argument ist put forward at the end - an argument for a view is immediately followed gy the argument against it. 4.) Draw a conclusion. How to write a comment: Step 1: As we have seen in... As we know from... The author of... holds the view that... Step 2: In my opinion/view... To my mind... I think.... There is noc question that.. I cannot really believe that... I would say.... As far as I can see.... Step 3: The first point I would like to mention... When we have a closer look at... In contrast to.... On reason is that... Another argument is... Step 4: Therefore I would say/ think / don´t think / cannot agree with / As a result... In short.... All in all.... To summarize.... damit du schonmal weißt wie man einen guten schreibt ;) |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 15:21 |
sehr nett von dir danke macht mir nur ein bisscehn angst was du geschrieben hast xD wie würdest du meinen text denn bewerten sei ehrlich ich würde das gerne wissen :) |
Antwort von ammy (ehem. Mitglied) | 05.12.2007 - 15:32 |
warum macht dir das angst? ^^ ps: deinen comment bewerte ich später, muss jetzt los sorry! |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 15:46 |
Z.1-2: I would like to know whether the risk is to high Z. 3 : Besser ist: Now i will present a few... Z. 6 : familiy Z. 6 : everything(wohl eher Tippfehler) Z. 6 : Besser ist: Furthermore you are responsible for a lot of things e.g. workers, business... Z. 9 : have not to be right Besser ist: haven`t to be reached Z.11 : that means Z.12 : In my opinion Z.13 : Besser ist: At the end i would say... alles was ich gefunden habe und versuch nicht immer so lange sätze zu machen bisschen kürzer |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 15:59 |
super danke hab jetzt verbessert wär nett wenn noch ne bewertung käm vielen dank habt mir sehr geholfen :) und so der neue text As we know can self employment be a good thing but I would like to know whether the risk is to high? I would say to be a self employer is great because you have enough money and you can do more things than a normal worker. Now I will a few arguments. The first point I would like to mention that a self employer can get much money but before you have high start-up costs or you have to work much hours sometimes all day what is very stressful or can be a problem for your family. Furthermore you are responsible for a lot of things e.g. workers, business, for the safety of the firm… Another argument is If you are in a partnership, you can get into trouble with your partner or the worst case is that you can become bankrupt. But all these things have not to be reached because when you see the other side can you realize your own ideas, you have a feeling of freedom. I think a good argument too is that you are your own boss, that mean no one can critize you and you have more influence of your profit. In my opinion the best argument is that you can become very rich (like bill gates).at the end I would say that self employment is very interesting thing with much risk and the arguments have convinced me at last can I say “no risk no fun”. |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 16:28 |
nua so als info gibt ja verschiedene techniken ne argumentation zu gestalten 1. argument und gegenargument(entkräften) 2. erst alle pro argumente dann alle contra argumente wobei es da so is für welche seite man sich entscheidet.Entscheidest du dich für die pro seite dann nennst du erst alle contra argumente, nimmst du die contra seite dann nennst du erst die pro argumente (hoffe kapiert^^) |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 16:29 |
ich bin dafür deswegen habe ich ja die pros am ende stehen und micgh dann dafür entschieden was hab ich denn jetzt da falsch gemacht ? |
Antwort von RichardLancelot | 05.12.2007 - 16:30 |
Zitat: Schreibfehler? Oder fehlt da ein "list"? |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 17:00 |
ja stimmt hat er wohl verpeilt |
Antwort von GAST | 05.12.2007 - 17:58 |
ist der comment denn gut ? ja oder nein |
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