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Essay korrigieren, bitte

Frage: Essay korrigieren, bitte
(1 Antwort)


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Hallo ich müsste bis heute 0:00 Uhr ein Essay an meinen Lehrer verschicken und würde mich über verbesserungsvorschlägen von Ihnen freuen.


Essay:
On 16th July a Summer day, Aurelia and Elizabeth two best friends go to a sports ground and observe the boy Noah, he plays football. Aurelia likes Noah very much, because he is a beautiful boy. The two girls observe him from a fence. Elizabeth don’t likes him, she is in the opinion that he is a badboy, because he is always wearing a black jeans and a leather jacket.

On the other side of the fence Noah plays football with his friends Julian, Hero, William, Jacob and Oliver. Later came a girl Amy, Amy watched them and looked often to Noah. That hurts Aurelia and Elizabeth comfort her.

After Noahs friends went home and Amy and Aurelia too, Elizabeth goes to Noah and asked him about Aurelia. She asks him if he likes Aurelia. Noah says „yes“ and Elizabeth explained him that Aurelia like him too, but she was to shy to say it. Finally Elizabeth and Noah went to Aurelias home and Noah asks Aurelia for a date.
Frage von gerda.uschi | am 20.03.2020 - 14:05


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Antwort von Ratgeber | 20.03.2020 - 21:09
Essay:
On 16th July, a Summer day, Aurelia and Elizabeth, two best friends go to a sports ground and observe a boy called Noah, who plays football.
Aurelia likes Noah very much, because he is a beautiful boy. The two girls observe him from a fence. Elizabeth doesn’t like Noah, she finds / believes that he is a badboy, because he is always wearing a black jeans and a leather jacket.

On the other side of the fence Noah plays football with his friends Julian, Hero, William, Jacob and Oliver. Later a girl called Amy arrives. Amy watches them (wen? entweder watches the boys / watches the two girls) and often looks to Noah. That hurts Aurelia and Elizabeth comforts her.

After Noahs friends have gone home like Amy and Aurelia, Elizabeth goes to Noah and asks him about Aurelia and if he likes her. Noah answers „yes“ and Elizabeth explains him that Aurelia likes him too, but she would be too shy to say it. Finally Elizabeth and Noah go to Aurelia`s home and Noah asks Aurelia for a date.

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