Dringend / Berichtigung / USA / Technologien / Reiseführer

Hallo erstmal, muss für die Schule einen "Reiseführer" schreiben, welcher sich mit High Tech in Amerika beschäftigt. Da er nur ca. 400 Wörter umfassen darf, habe ich ihn auf die in Amerika entwickelten Computertechnologien ganz grob gekürzt. Mir geht es bei der Korrektur aber weniger um den Inhalt, sondern viel lieber würde ich die Grammatischen Fehler in dem Text,vor meiner schlechten Note, ausbessern. Muss den Text bis Montag, den 09.11.15 kontrolliert bekommen haben um ihn noch rechtzeitig abgeben zu können. Vielen Dank schon mal im Voraus. Maximilian

Text:

12/2 Maximilian
When you visit the United States of America, searching for the biggest, most exciting sights and attraction or stunning moments, then you try to capture this moment for the eternity. But with what do you take the unique, fascinating photo? The most people take their photo with their handy. Who invented the Smartphone and which technologies you can further discover in the USA? This article deal with the American achievements in the computer technology and other technologies made in the USA.

The development from the Smartphone start in the USA, by the companies IBM and BellSouth. The idea was, to create a mobile phone which can do more than the normal phones. So they build the IBM Simon. The first Smartphone in the World with functions like a calendar, address book, notepad and visionary apps like maps and news. The development had a continuous rise but the important breakthrough to the Smartphones as we know them today came with the Apple IOS and the iPhone. It was a Smartphone with an operating system developed by Apple for touch screens. Followed by Android and HTC Dream. So you can say that Apple revolutionized the Smartphone market. With the operating system Android we are at the next company which change our life. Google. With theirs search engine they get a monopoly in the internet. But also with products like the Chromebook, Android, Youtube, Google Maps / Earth and more become Google more and more to the American biggest Software company. Also Microsoft, which developed and produce the operating system at our Computers and Facebook, which developed the “new technology” to communicate with friend, are very powerful companies in the USA. But nothing work of their Software without high technology Hardware. A very good example for a Hardware producing company is Intel. Since 1968 Intel try to make the Computer faster, more intelligent and smaller. And this with success. The most Computers which we use today, have technology by Intel. When you are interest at this exciting company you can visit the Intel Museum. At least as exciting like this museum is to visit the locations of the main buildings from these companies in the Silicon Valley. It’s the center of high technology in the USA. In America you can also see the new achievements in the Tech Museum of Innovation. For example you can learn there the basics of 3D Printing and you can see the newest Innovation of the USA and the World. American Companies produced many high computer technologies in the last years. The most important achievements from companies at the USA and the World you can marvel at the Computer History Museum.
I hope that you visit some of the museums at your next trip to the USA and that I could help you. And remember when you use the next time your Smartphone or when you Google something, that this are all technologies made in the USA.