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Essay Kontrolle

Frage: Essay Kontrolle
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Telecommuting becomes more common in our society, while working in an office decreases unfortunately. Both types of working can be found in every kind of work that takes place in an office. In the following essay, I will argue about the advantages and disadvantages of telecommuting.


People who work at home, especially for parents, often have more privacy and flexibiliy. For instance, parents are able to work at home, during their work they take care of their children or pets. In addition to that, labourer who work at home are more independant than others who work in an office. For example, they are able to decide themselves whenever they want to start or end working. As a result it is more comfortable to labour at home than in an office because there is no expense of travel to the office.

On the other hand, it is quite boring if people work at home because they are alone. Therefore, for those who work at home are not able to share events what they have experienced at the week-end, for example.
Furthermore, if labourer have problems they will not have the chance to work in a group.

In conclusion to that there are advantages like privacy and flexibility, independance and comfort but also disadvantages like being bored or no face to face contact. That is why I prefer working at home because I do not need any social contacts, and if I have any problems I will give my colleagues a call to solve problems with them.
Frage von bombi (ehem. Mitglied) | am 11.12.2012 - 12:05


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Antwort von goldenoldie (ehem. Mitglied) | 11.12.2012 - 14:58
Zitat:
Telecommuting has become (1) more and more common in our society, while working in an office has decreased,(1) unfortunately.
Both types of working can now be found in
nearly every [--] place [--] of traditional office work (2). In the following essay, I am going(3) to show / point out (4)the advantages and disadvantages of telecommuting.

On the one hand,(5) people who work at home, especially [---] parents, often have more privacy and flexibiliy of work. For instance, while working at home ,they are able [--] to take care of their children or pets as well (2). In addition to that, labourers working (6) at home are more independent than those who work in an office, as they are able to decide for themselves when they want to start or finish working (2). Furthermore, working at home is more comfortable [---] because a person who does not commute to and fro his place of work saves money and time. (2)

On the other hand, it can bequite boring if people work at home because they miss the contact with his/her collegues (2). Therefore, {---] those who work at home are not able to talk aboutevents [---] they have experienced at the week-end, for example.
Furthermore, if employees have problems they will not have the chance of getting help from the group of co-workers.

Concluding I want to point out that the advantages like privacy and flexibility, independence and comfort outweighthe disadvantages like boredom or the lack of (2) face to face contact. That is why I prefer working at home. [---] I do not need any social contacts, and if I have any problems I will give my colleagues a call to solve problems with them.



annotations:

1) pres. perfect hier notwendig
2) Satz wurde - du bist hoffentlich einverstanden sprachlich "geglättet".
3) schau mal in die Grammtik, was mit dem will-future ausgedrückt wird; du bis hierüber in den letzten zwei Tagen schon dreimal verbessert worden.
4)argue heißt: sich streiten
5)muss eingefügt weren, weil du unten von "on the other hand" schreibst
6)Partizipial-Satz besser als der "clumsy-ge" Relativsatz


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Antwort von bombi (ehem. Mitglied) | 11.12.2012 - 16:32
hi zu 3) mein engischlehrer hat mir den Ausdruck "In the following essay, I will .. vorgegeben.

vielen lieben Dank!

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