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Bitte um Textkorrektur (Zeitungsbericht)

Frage: Bitte um Textkorrektur (Zeitungsbericht)
(2 Antworten)

 
Atlanta. On Monday morning at 9.00 o`clock of the 23.03.2006 a plane crashed with an eleven years old boy who had go at the runway on the airport in Atlanta and killed them.

The boy drove in the morning with his father to the airport, because it was "Take your child to work day" and the father was the manager there.
Arrived on the airport the boys father had to talk with an important person. So in this moment he can`t see, that his son went arount and after a short time, he was out on the field and walked on the runway of the airport. In this moment a plane from Canada landed, but it can`t stop, because it was to fast. The boy cried, but the pilot couldn`t do anything. The boy crashed with the plane und flew on the window.
Straight away an emergency doctor arrived, but it was too late, the boy died. The pilot became a shock. The passengers and the crew members didn`t get hurts. Also the plane hadn`t a demage.
ANONYM stellte diese Frage am 30.01.2011 - 15:00


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13		 Antwort von C. Baerchen (ehem. Mitglied) | 30.01.2011 - 15:17
so fällt mir grad nur auf:

2zeile: had go?! -> went
3zeile: them? -> it
7zeile: arount -> around
9zeile: to fast -> too fast
10zeile: the boy[...]window -> schreib den komplett nochmal um
12zeile: hurts -> hurt
13zeile: hadn`t a damage -> hasn`t been damaged

 
 Antwort von GAST | 30.01.2011 - 15:22
On Monday March 23rd, 2006 at 9.00 o`clock in the morning [---} a plane ran over an eleven-year-old boy who had run onto the runway of the Atlanta airport. The boy was fatally wounded. [---}
The boy had gone [---] with his father to the airport early in the morning , because it was "Take your child to work day" and the father was a manager there.
Having arrivedat the airport the boy`s father had to talk with an important person. So in that moment he couldn`t see[---] that his son was going around and after a short time, he was out on the field and was walking on the runway of the airport. At this moment a plane from Canada landed, but it couldn`t stop in time, because it was too fast. The boy was shouting/crying (1), but the pilot couldn`t do anything. The boy was hit by the plane and was hurled into the window.

1) shout = schreien ; cry = weinen

fett = korrigiert/eingefügt; [---] = gestrichen

Kommentar zu deinem Englisch? lieber nicht!

old-but-alert
Straight away an emergency doctor arrived, but it was too late, the boy died. The pilot became a shock. The passengers and the crew members didn`t get hurts. Also the plane hadn`t a demage.

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