Bitte meinen englisch dialogue in slang korrigieren:)

Hallo, ich habs endlich geschafft einen dialogue in slang zuschreiben. Ich bitte euch mir die Fehler zu korrigiern. Und zu letzt auch, wie ihr den Dialugue findet. Dankee schön im voraus.


Hier ist mein Text:

A Dialogue in slang
(At school)

A: You seem really ticked off. What`s up?
P: Just get out my face, would you?
A: Chill out! What`s eating you, anyway?
P: Sorry. It`s just that I think I blew the final and now my parents are going to get all bent out of shape. I like totally drew a blank on everything!
A: Well, now you`re really going to freak out when I tell you who aced it... what`s-her-face... the one who always kisses up to the teacher.
P: Jennifer Davie? Give me a break! I can`t stand her. She`s such a dweeb! How could she possibly ace it when she keeps cutting class all the time?
A: She`s teacher`s pet, that`s why. Besides, he`s so laid back, he lets her get away with it. She just really rubs me the wrong way. And you know what? I think she`s got the hots for him, too.
P: Get out of here!
A: I`m dead serious. Yesterday, before class starts, she walks up to Mr. Edward`s desk and goes, `Goodmorning, Jim.`
P: Oh, gag me! She`s totally gross!