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Cultural differences mal korrigieren ;D

Frage: Cultural differences mal korrigieren ;D
(7 Antworten)

 
hallo

habe ma hier meine hausaufgabe gepostet und musste nen text schreiben...
der sollte ca ne halbe seite sein ... hier habe ich ihn geuppt und hoffe, dass ihr den nen bissl modifizieren könnt ;) einma bitte kurz drüber gucken ob da rechtschreibfehler , grammatik oder sonst welche fehler drinne sind :D

vielen dank und viel spass

lg rabbit

Cultural differences

In our school, we have a lot of pupils with different foreign origins. We have children, who come from Turkey, Greece, Italy, Serbia, Russia and Poland. I am one of them. My origin is from Italy and I know, how other pupils feel in school. Many pupils have problems with the German language here in Germany. They can speak German fluent and clearly, but they have a lot of problems, if they have to write story`s, homework and class tests, which are during over two hours. These Pupils have to improve their German, because they want to pass in the next higher class. But there is a very important aspect, too. A lot of foreign pupils are better in other subjects like Maths or in English as many Germans. These subjects are in all countries equal and children`s have a better possibility to learn for them. Our class is very multi cultural and we respect all persons each other.
GAST stellte diese Frage am 28.05.2008 - 18:42

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 19:06
In our school, we have a lot of pupils with different foreign origins. We have children who come from Turkey, Greece Italy, Serbia, Russia and Poland. I`m one of them, because my origin is Italy. On top of that I know how other pupils feel in school.

Many pupils have problems concerning the German language. They can speak German fluently and clearly. They have got a lot of problems, if they have to write story`s, to do their homework and to pass class-tests, which are during more than two hours. That`s why these pupils have to improve their German, because they want to pass in the next higher class.
Additionally there`s another important aspect. A lot of foreign pupils are better in other subjects like Maths or Englisch as many Germans. These subjects are equal in all countries and another reason is the better possibility to learn for these subjects.
Furthermore our class is very multicultural and we respect each other.

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 18:48
puhh... 20 mega pusher

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 18:54
Z.3 => "My origin is Italy...."
Z.5 => "They can speak German fluentLY and clearly, but the have got a lot of problems, if they have to write story`s, to do their homework and to pass class tests, which are during more than two hours."
Z.8 => "But there is another important aspect."
Z.9 => "These subjects are equal in all countries and there is a better possibility to learn for."
Z.10=> "Our class is very multicultural and we respect each other"

Das sind die groben Fehler die mir sofort aufgefallen sind.

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 18:56
allerdings würde ich vllt. noch ein paar Konjunktionen verwenden, womit du die Sätze besser verbindest. Bei dir hört sich das mehr oder weniger wie eine Aufzählung an. Verwende Satzübergänge wie zum Beispiel:
because of this, on top of that, that`s why, Additionally und andere.
Damit machst du den Text flüssiger und einfacher zu Lesen und erleichterst dem Leser auch den Text zu verstehen.

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 18:58
jaa danke ;D kannse mir vllt 2 sätze ma vorzeigen ^^ wäre echt nett ;) habe damit noch nen paar probleme :D


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13		 Antwort von Dominik04 (ehem. Mitglied) | 28.05.2008 - 19:02
In our school, we have a lot of pupils from different ethnic backgrounds. There are children, who come from Turkey, Greece, Italy, Serbia, Russia and Poland. I am one of them. My origin is Italian (oder: I`m originally from Italy) and I know, how other pupils feel in school. Many pupils have problems with the German language here in Germany. They can speak German fluently and clearly, but they have a lot of problems, writing storys, homework and class tests, which last two hours and more. These Pupils have to improve their German, because they want to pass their exams and go on studying next year. But there is another very important aspect: a lot of foreign pupils are better in subjects like Maths or English than many Germans. These subjects are alike in most countries and studying for them is easier for people from foreign backgrounds. Our class is very multi-cultural and we respect each other.

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 19:03
vielen dank hört sich auch nicht schlecht an

 
 Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2008 - 19:06
In our school, we have a lot of pupils with different foreign origins. We have children who come from Turkey, Greece Italy, Serbia, Russia and Poland. I`m one of them, because my origin is Italy. On top of that I know how other pupils feel in school.

Many pupils have problems concerning the German language. They can speak German fluently and clearly. They have got a lot of problems, if they have to write story`s, to do their homework and to pass class-tests, which are during more than two hours. That`s why these pupils have to improve their German, because they want to pass in the next higher class.
Additionally there`s another important aspect. A lot of foreign pupils are better in other subjects like Maths or Englisch as many Germans. These subjects are equal in all countries and another reason is the better possibility to learn for these subjects.
Furthermore our class is very multicultural and we respect each other.

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