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Abstract über eine Präsentation

Frage: Abstract über eine Präsentation
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Bitte einmal die grammatik überprüfen bitte.

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Abstract about the presentation of Apple

The presentation deals with the future importance of the company Apple for our society.
It will be shown how Apple could also in the future change our kind of life and whether there products have a similar impact of our life as the innovative products of the past.
For this there will be new concepts and products explained and the possible impact will be predict. First the innovations of the past presented shortly, than the market power of the concern nowadays and how it changed in the last years. Then deals with the question if the dead of Steve Jobs sustained damaged the company. Finally it will be checked which consequences the plans for the future will be have and if Apple change the way to life again.
Through research it has been found that apple lost market share in the last years and that attributable to the changing market situation. Moreover, surveys show that many people prefer other companies in the technology sector.
That means if the company does not again brings out a technical novelty, which has a similar effect as the iPhone, they will have difficulties to get to old success.
Frage von Marcel196 | am 25.11.2015 - 15:13


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Antwort von Quizmaster | 25.11.2015 - 19:40
Auf jeden Fall eine kleine Korrektur: 2.Satz: ...and whether their (!) products have..., gemeint sind doch ihre Produkte, also die von Apple, oder? Wohl nur ein Flüchtigkeitsfehler, der mir sofort aufgefallen ist.
3.Satz, ...shortly, then(?) the market power... Besser sind ganze Sätze, statt Halbsätze. Through research it has been found out(?)...Letzter Satz: ... does not again bring (?) out a technical... Sonst im grossen und ganzen geht`s eigentlich.

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