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short story kontrollieren bitte !

Frage: short story kontrollieren bitte !
(3 Antworten)


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hallo leute, könnt ihr mal die story kontrollieren?
danke!

Its too late for…

"’Jack, Jack, please, you must help me."
"What is going on?"
“Anna”

One word and the young man knew what it was: ”Drugs!”
He followed Harry on his small room, which he usually shared with Anna.
Jack was in love with Anna, but she belonged to Harry. They both were just friends. Harry didn’t liked Jack and that was based on reciprocity.
But Harry knew all too well the differences between Anna and him, but he didn’t understand and maybe he would never understand them. Only Jack could talked with and understand her.
This was one of Jacks weaknesses.
And that Harry exactly knew that Jack he would never say no and never refused his assistance to help Anna.
He loved her too much and feared to lose her. Her drug addiction was a serious problem. For a long time she was heavily addicted to drugs. They had managed together to get rid of them.
Why this relapse? What was happened?
Jack didn’t knew it but he wanted to help her and prevent worse. When he came into the room Sarah was sitting on the floor. In her right hand she held a syringe and her left arm was with a rubber band abgeschnürt.
She stared at him lifeless with her teared eyes.
“No, no, go away ! “, she shouted.
Jack ignored it and sat down to her on the floor. He saw in her eyes and stroked a few strands of her long blond hair from the face. "Psst!", he said quietly and touched her gently on her shoulder. "I`m here." “"Everything will be okey.“
Anna didn’t moved. The hand with the syringe was on her left hand. She fought with herself. Slowly she let the hand with the syringe falling down.
Jack took her into his arms and stroked her gently. "It’s okey, everything is okey." He said gently. With all his force he suppressed a few tears. Tears ran down Sarah`s cheeks .
Nobody would be able to say why she was crying. Nobody knew the reason. A few minutes later she let fall the syringe.

Later:

“Take care off her Harry!”, said Jack.
“I’am worried about her.” ,said Harry sadly.

Two days later:

Sarah, oh my God, Sarah. "Jack`s voice was excited. He stormed into the room, threw himself to the young woman on the ground
Her whole body was trembled, and she was freezing cold. Her eyes were twisted. The Makeup was runs of tears .
The syringe was still in her arm. Then she suddenly stopped to shake. "No", Jack shouted.
He felt her pulse and heartbeat. "No, not so, come on."
He tried to resuscitate. "Come on, come on." "Come on, Breathe." His voice sounded broken. "Breathe." "No." Any help came too late, forever too late.
Tears ran silently down his cheeks and many of them on the pale face of the only woman he had ever loved. Tenderly he stroked her cheek. Gently he kissed her forehead. "I will always love you." He whispered.
Frage von phantom2040 (ehem. Mitglied) | am 20.05.2009 - 04:24


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Antwort von phantom2040 (ehem. Mitglied) | 20.05.2009 - 09:26
bitte
nachgucken ist wichtig


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Antwort von phantom2040 (ehem. Mitglied) | 20.05.2009 - 12:22
*push*..............


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Antwort von algieba (ehem. Mitglied) | 20.05.2009 - 13:22
He followed Harry TO his small room...
Harry didn’t liked Jack and that was MUTUAL.
ALTHOUGH Harry knew the differences between Anna and him ALL TOO WELL, he didn’t understand and maybe he would never understand them. Only Jack could talk with and understand her.
This was one of Jack`s weaknesses.
Harry exactly knew that and that Jack would never say no and never refuse his assistance to help Anna.
...
What has happened?
...
In her right hand she held a syringe and A TOURNIQUET WAS PUT AROUND her left arm.
She stared at him lifeless with her WATERING eyes.
...
He LOOKED inTO her eyes...

Everything will be okAy/ALRIGHT.“...

The syringe was In her left hand. ...

Slowly she let the hand with the syringe fELL down. ...

"It’s okay, everything is okay.", he said gently. ...

A few minutes later she DROPPED the syringe. ...

“Take care of her, Harry!”, said Jack.
“I’am worried about her.”, said Harry sadly. ...

"Sarah, oh my God, Sarah!"...He RUSHed into the room...

Her whole body was tremblING and she was freezing. ...

The make-up was SMEARED BY tears. ...

Then she suddenly stopped shakING. "No!", SHOUTED Jack. ...

He tried to resuscitate HER. ...

"Come on, breathe."

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