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Romeo and Juliet: Act 3, Scene 1 Transaltion to modern English

~A public place: enter Mercutio and his Page, Benvolio and Men

Benvolio:
I ask you, good Mercutio, to go indoors.
It’s a hot day, the Capulets are gone out,
And if we meet we shall not avoid a quarrel,
For now, in these hot days of July, the mad blood is stirring.

Mercutio:
You behave like one of these fellows that, when he enters
The border of a tavern, throws the sword upon the
Table, and says ‘God, don’t make me have to use this!’; and under
The influence of the second drink draws his sword against
The barman, when indeed there is no need.

Benvolio:
Am I like such a fellow?

Mercutio:
Come on, you are as hot as a fellow in your anger as any
In Italy, and you are as soon provoked to be angry and also as soon
angry at being provoked.

Benvolio:
Is there something about it?

Mercutio:
No, ...
You? Why, you would quarrel with a man that has one hair more or less in his beard than you;
You will quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason but because your eyes have the colour of a hazel nut.What other eye than yours would spot such a quarrel? Your head is full of quarrels as an egg is full of food, and yet your head has ben beaten as rotten as an egg for quarreling.You have quarrelled qith a amn for coughing in the street, because he has wakened your dog that has lain asleep
In the sun. Wasn’t it you that quarrelled with a tailor for wearing his new sleeveless jacket he just designed before Easter? Wasn’t it you who quarreled with another for tying his new shoes with old ribbon? But it’s still you who wants to lecture me about quarrelling.

Benvolio:
And I were as ready to quarrel as you are. I could sell my life outright to any man who would buy it for as little as an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio:
The absolute possession? Oh, how simple!
~Enter Tybalt, Petruchio, and others

Benvolio:
Oh my God, here come the Capulets.

Mercutio:
They are behind me, I don’t care.

Tybalt:
Follow me close because i will speak to them.
Gentlemen, i would liek to have a word with one of you.

Mercutio:
Only one word with only one of us?
Couple it with more and it will be a word and a hit.

Tybalt:
You should find me able enough to that, sir, and you will give me an excuse/reason for it.

Mercutio:
Could you not take some excuses without giving?

Tybalt:
Mercutio, you consort (keep company) with Romeo.

Mercutio:
Consort? You make us minstrels? If you make minstrels of us you will only hear discords.
Here is myy ‘fiddlestick’, here’s that shall make you dance.
By God’s wounds, consort!

Benvolio:

We are talking in a public place:
Either withdraw untill we reach a quiet place
Or reason calmly your complaints,
Or else depart; here everyone is looking at us.

Mercutio:
Men’s eyes were made to look, and so let them gaze;
Me, I will not move for no man’s pleasure.
~Enter Romeo

Tybalt:
Well, peace be with you, sir, here comes the man i am looking for.

Mercutio:
But I will be hanged, if he wears your uniform.
If you will lead the way to the duelling-ground and he will follow you.;
Your adoration in that sense may call him man.

Tybalt:
...

Romeo:
Tybalt, the reason that i have to love you
Does excuse the appertaining rage so much
To such a greeting. I am no Villain;
Therefore farewell, I see you don’t know me.

Tybalt:
Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries
That you have done to me, therefore turn around and draw your sword.

Romeo:
I protest, I never injured you,
But I love you more than you can imagine,
Till you shall know the reason of my love;
...

Mercutio:
Oh calm, dishonourable, mean (vile) submission!
‘Alla toccata!’ has won. [Draws]
Tybalt, you rat-catcher, will you walk away to fight?

Tybalt:
What would...

Mercutio:
Good King of Cats, nothing but one of your nine lives
That I mean to do as I please with, and as you shall deal with
Me hereafter, ....
Will you draw your sword without ceremony?
Make haste, let it be me attacking you before you have it drawn.

Tybalt:
I am for you. [Drawing]

Romeo:
Gentle Mercutio, put the rapier up.

Mercutio:
Come, sir, your ‘passado’.
~They fight.

Romeo:
Draw, Benvolio, bet down their weapons.
Gentlemen, for shame stop this outrage!
Tybalt, Mercutio, the prince expressly has forbiddden this fighting in the streets of Verona.
~Romeo steps between them
Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!
~Tybalt under Romeo’s arm thrusts his rapier into Mercutio
[away Tybalt with his followers]

Mercutio:
I am hurt. A plague on both houses! I am killed.
Is he not wounded at all?

Benvolio:
What, are you hurt?

Mercutio:
Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch, my friend, thi is enough.
Where is my page? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon.
[exit Page(pagan?)]

Romeo:
Courage, my friend (man), he cannot have hurt you that bad.

Mercutio:
No, this is not so deep as a fountain, nor so wide as a churchdoor,
But it is enough to kill me. Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find
me a grave man. I am finished with this world. A plague on both your houses!
‘Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scrach a man to death!
A braggart, a rogue, a villain, thi fights by the book of arithmetic.
Why the devil did you come between us! I was hurt under your arm.

Romeo:
I only wanted the best for all of us.

Mercutio:
Help me into some house, Benvolio, or I shall faint. A plague on boht of your houses!
They have made a dead body of me.
I have been fatally wounded, and no mistake. Your houses! [exit with Benvolio]

Romeo:
This gentleman, the prince’s near kinsman, my true friend was deadly wounded in my name; my reputation stained with Tybalts slander- Tybalt, who has been my cousin for an hour.
Oh, sweet Juliet, your beauty has made me effeminate, and weakened the steely courage of my disposition!
~enter Benvolio

Benvolio:
Oh, Romeo, Romeo, the brave Mercutio is dead.
That noble spirit has mounted up to the clouds,
Which too prematurely did contemn the earth.

Romeo:
The fatal consequences of today’s events hang upon what happens in the future.
With this only begins what the others must end.
~enter Tybalt

Benvolio:
Here comes the furious Tybalt back again.

Romeo:
Again and in triumph, and Mercutio killed?
The mercy that shows consideration can go back to heaven,

And fury shall be my guide now! Now, Tybalt take the ‘villain’ bakc again that recently you gave me, for Mercutiou’s soul is but a little distance above us, waiting for you to be his company:
Either you or me mor both of us must go with him.

Tybalt:
You wretched boy, that accompanied him here shall be qith him hence.

Romeo:
This shall determine that.
~they fight, Tybalt falls

Benvolio:
Romeo, away, be gone!
The citizens are aroused, and Tybalt is dead.
Stand not around bewildered, the prince will contemn you to dead if they catch you.
Hence be gone, away!

Romeo:
Oh, I am fortune’s fool.

Benvolio:
Why do you stay here?
[exit Romeo]
[enter citizens and Officers of the Watch]

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