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As a group, teenagers strive for individuality, but they want the acceptance of their peers. They act as if they know everything, yet they lack a lot of experience. They feel invincible and yet are often insecure. Some teenagers love to test and challenge authority. Below are seven keys to successfully dealing with teenagers. 1. One of the most common characteristics of difficult teens is that they love to press buttons and make us react negatively, including, but not limited to, teasing, disobeying, not listening, talking back, temper throwing, breaking rules, rejecting, bargaining, and provoking.
The less we react to provocations, the more we can use our better judgment to deal with the situation.
2. As most teens want to experience greater independence and personality, some will inevitably challenge us to test the extent of our power. In such situations, it is very important to set boundaries to maintain a workable and constructive relationship. The boundaries must be clearly and specifically articulated. The first and most important limit in almost any situation is that we will be treated with respect. The list of boundaries should be relatively short but clear. Teenagers can deliberately question our limits to see if we mean what we say and see how much they can get away with.
3. When we meet a difficult young person, let us empower ourselves by using assertive communication skills.
4. When we meet a group of disturbing students in the classroom, there is no need to deal with each offender individually. Being firm with the leader and keeping him in line, the rest of the group follows him. Another management technique is to physically separate difficult people. By focusing on the leader and dividing and overcoming inappropriate behavior, a group of teenagers are more likely to behave appropriately.
5. In relatively mild situations where a teenager is difficult, let us be empathetic by not overreacting.
Avoid telling your teen what to do about frivolous matters. When a teenager upsets us, let`s take some distance instead of feeling angry, irritated or anxious. Many teenagers struggle internally, and being mindful of their experiences can help us relate to them more distantly and calmly.
6. When we see a teenager upset or in despair, offer him the opportunity to talk to us. In appropriate situations, when communicating with a teenager about her experiences, let`s listen without comment (at least for a moment). Before we offer any comments, let`s ask the teenager if she wants to hear it. When discussing problems, let the young person engage in discussions about problems and solutions.
7. When your teen insists on breaking sound rules and boundaries and doesn`t take "no" as an answer, let`s apply the consequences. The ability to identify and acknowledge consequences is one of the most powerful skills we can use to "put" a discerning person. Effectively articulated consistency stops a difficult individual and forces them to move from resistance to cooperation. While difficult teens are not pleasant to interact with, there are many effective skills and strategies that can be applied to minimize their rebellion and increase their cooperation.