Vorstellung Englisch - korrekturlesen

Good morning .........
Let me introduce myself to you.
My name is ...... At the moment I`m still 11 years old,
but in 5 days I have birthday. Then I`ll be twelve years old. I was born in ...... and I live in ...... in a nice house together with my family.
My family consists of my mother, my father and my brother. My mother is 44 years old and teaches at a primary school. My father is 50 years old and works as a senior staff at ......... My younger brother is 7 years old. I often play with him but sometimes he is annoying.
In my freetime I like to jump in my new trampoline or play inline hockey with my friends. My hobby is speed skating. I do that in the club BTS.
As you can see (auf dein sweatshirt zeigen), I am a big fan of FC Bayern Munich. I like to visit their soccer matches in the Allianz Arena.
So now IŽm finished with my presentation of myself, thank you for listening.

Ist allerdings für 1 Minute viel Text. Daher hab ich es noch ein wenig zusammengefasst:
Good morning .........
Let me introduce myself to you.
My name is ...... and I`m 11 years old, but in 5 days I`ll be twelve years old. I was born in ...... and I live in ...... in a nice house together with my my mother, my father and my 7 years old brother who sometimes he is annoying. My mother is 44 years old and teaches at a primary school and my father is 50 years old and works as a senior staff at .........
In my freetime I like to jump in my new trampoline or play inline hockey with my friends. My hobby is speed skating. I do that in the club BTS.
As you can see (auf dein sweatshirt zeigen), I am a big fan of FC Bayern Munich. I like to visit their soccer matches in the Allianz Arena.
So now IŽm finished with my presentation of myself, thank you for listening.