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Songtext- Bitte kontrollieren!

Frage: Songtext- Bitte kontrollieren!
(1 Antwort)

 
Ich hab mal wieder einen Song geschrieben, bin mit der Rechtschreibung bzw Grammatik nicht so sicher


Könnte mir jemand diesen Text bitte korrigieren?
(Falls es was zum korrigieren gibt :D )

Change Myself

I really want to love, but I`m too shy for it.
I could sing you this song, but am I ready for this?
I guess not, guess not

I could tell the whole world, that i have never kissed
a boy, never kissed him on the lipps
Cuz thats right, thats right

But do I really have to be honest all the time?
Even when I cry?

Do I really want to, want to
scream out loud, scream out loud
your name into the rain?
Just to be romantic?

Do I really have to, have to
look pretty all, look pretty all the time?
Make you mine?
Only cuz they do?

I won`t change myself,
I will stay the same,
I will do the things, that I want to do
I won`t change myself,
I will stay the same,
I will do the things, that I want to do

And I was dumb enoght, yeah, I coudn`t see
I even made my hair, you didn`t noticed me
You love this fake girls, which I don`t want to be

I won`t change myself,
I will stay the same,
I will do the things, that I want to do

I won`t change myself
I will stay the same,
I will do the things, that I want to do

Do I really want to, want to
scream out loud, scream out loud
your name into the rain?
Just to be romantic?

Do I really have to, have to
look pretty all, look pretty all the time?
Make you mine?
Only cuz they do?

I won`t change myself, cuz I will stay same,
Even when theres so much more I wanna do
ANONYM stellte diese Frage am 14.04.2010 - 16:17


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Antwort von Dominik04 (ehem. Mitglied) | 14.04.2010 - 16:53
wow, nicht schlecht. :)


du hast ein paar kleine tippfehler:

Zitat:
And I was dumb enoght (enough), yeah, I coudn`t see
I even made my hair, you didn`t noticed me
You love this (*) fake girls, which (**) I don`t want to be
* this > singular, these > plural
* which > gegenstände, who > personen, "that" geht für beides.

Zitat:
I won`t change myself, cuz I will stay the same,
Even when there`s so much more I wanna do


manchmal schreibst du "want to", manchmal "wanna", da das gleich viele silben hat, würd ich das im ganzen song einheitlich gestalten (immer "wanna", da du auch "cuz" für "because" benutzt)
vllt noch satzzeichen ans ende von manchen strophen, dann ist es perfekt :)

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