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Englische Präsentation (Text verbessern)?

Frage: Englische Präsentation (Text verbessern)?
(6 Antworten)


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Hallo, ich hab ein mehr oder weniger kleines Referat über Michael Jackson gemacht und wollte fragen ob das so richtig ist oder ob ihr verbesserungen hättet? :)

Michael Jackson
The “King of Pop“
His Life, First Moonwalk & his Glove

•Michael Joseph Jackson was born on August, the 29th 1958 in Gary, Indiana and died on June, the 25th 2009 in Los Angeles, California.
The most people known him as “The King of Pop”, the most commercially successful and influential entertainer of all time.
He once started his career at the Band “The Jackson 5”in 1964 along the side of his brothers: Jackie Jackson
Tito Jackson
Jermaine Jackson
Marlon Jackson
Randy Jackson
•His successful solo career started in 1971, but his and also the best-selled album in the world of all time is “Thriller” (appeared in 1982).
•With stage performances and music videos, Jackson popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the “robot” and the “moonwalk”.
•His distinctive sound, singing style and all above his amazing choreography inspired many other artists in their own songs and music videos.
•In his career he got many prizes and he had many successes - for example: he was admitted to the rock and roll hall of fame twice, and several times he was in the “Guinness World Records”-book, he also received 13 Grammy Awards, 26 American Music Awards, 17 number one singles and he estimated sales 750 million records worldwide, which makes him to one of the top three best selling artists in history.
•However, he also was a man, helping and caring for less wealthy people and in this reason he began to support 39 charities and started his own one called:”Heal the World Foundation”.

"But now I will come to the main point in this presentation: the “Moonwalk” or alternatively the “Backslide”."

•The Moonwalk made Michael Jackson even more famous than he ever had been; actually everyone knows this kind of dancing although it looks as if the dancers wanted originally going forward, but still moves backwards. It became popular all around the world after Michael Jackson executed the dance move during a performance of "Billie Jean" on Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever on March, the 25th, 1983.



"Now, I am going to present a video from his first Moonwalk ever. The clip originally has a length of 5 minutes, but I thought that this would have taken too much time for this presentation and so I cut it that we only can watch Michael Jackson performing his first Moonwalk ever."

•I hope you could see his flashy clothes in the video and all above his glove. Because this one was auctioned recently for $350,000. And including taxes and fees, the final amount paid was $420,000.
•The auctioneer was Darren Julien; he said he couldn’t imagine that the sum would be so high.
•And that the prices for Michael Jackson’s memorabilia now outstrip those for items belonging to Elvis Presley or Marilyn Monroe, he added.
"It`s a tribute to his life and career - he`s truly an amazing artist.“ Mr. Julien said.
•The glove was bought by a businessman from Hong Kong. He was commissioned from a hotel in Macau, China. This intends to issue the glove now.
•On this auction, there also was sold a jacket from Michael worn on his “Bad”-Tour from 1989 for $225,000. A black felt hat walked away for 22,000 dollars, a signed photo of the “Jackson Five” for $1600 and many other also things found new owners.
•All around, the memorials of the in this June died King of Pop constituted around two million US-Dollar.


•While preparing for the This Is It concert tour in 2009, Jackson died at the age of 50after suffering from cardiac arrest. He reportedly had been administered drugs such as propofol and lorazepam, and his death was ruled a homicide by the Los Angeles County coroner. His death triggered an outpouring of grief from around the world with his globally live broadcast memorial service attracting an audience of up to one billion people.
Frage von RihannaFan994 | am 03.12.2009 - 15:01


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Antwort von RihannaFan994 | 03.12.2009 - 15:19
Es
wäre echt super Nett wenn ich bis spätestens um 18 Uhr eine Antwort bekommen würde da ich das Referat morgen vielleicht schon halten muss :/

Danke :)

 
Antwort von GAST | 03.12.2009 - 15:28
•Michael Joseph Jackson was born in August, the 29th 1958 in Gary, Indiana and died in June, the 25th 2009 in Los Angeles, California. Most people know him as “The King of Pop”, the most successful commercially and influential entertainer of all time (was moechtest damit sagen?).
He started his career as a member of the Band “The Jackson 5”in 1964 with his brothers: Jackie Jackson
Tito Jackson
Jermaine Jackson
Marlon Jackson
Randy Jackson
•His successful solo career started in 1971, the best-selled album in the world of all time is “Thriller” (appeared in 1982).
•With stage performances and music videos, Jackson popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the “robot” and the “moonwalk”.

 
Antwort von GAST | 03.12.2009 - 15:34
mach es genau so.
ein paar sachen sind geschmackssache,
aber du bist grade mal 15, und dafuer ist es ein tip-top-english.

jetzt musst du es nur noch frei vortragen.

...
"His successful solo career started in 1971, but his and also the best-selled album in the world of all time is “Thriller” (appeared in 1982)."

mach da mehrere saetze draus.
...1971. his best selled album is thriller from 1982, which is also the best selled music-album of all time.

...
"But now I will come to the main point in this presentation: the “Moonwalk” or alternatively the “Backslide”."

but now i will present the main topic/part of

...
his death was ruled as...


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Antwort von RihannaFan994 | 03.12.2009 - 15:47
okay danke werd ich denn mal so ändern :)

hört sich irgendwie auch besser an ^^

 
Antwort von GAST | 03.12.2009 - 15:56
mach`s nicht zu *perfect*.. ; )
wo liegt denn sonst die messlatte fuer deine mitschueler!?


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Antwort von RihannaFan994 | 03.12.2009 - 18:03
haha , ich bin bei uns noch lange nciht die beste in englisch im gegenteil :D nur ich hab mir diesma sau mega mühe gegeben, weil ich ja abschlussklasse bin und weiter zur schule will ^^ und das wie ne arbeit gewertet wird also da würd sich ne 1-2 nicht schlecht machen :)

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