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Englisch: Minutes, korrektur

Frage: Englisch: Minutes, korrektur
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Das ist der erste versuchen ein solches Stundenprotokoll zu schreiben. Das ihr den Inhalt nicht verbessern könnt ist klar, aber wäre nett wenn ihr mal den Satzbau und die Art wie es geschrieben ist, überprüfen würdet.


Date: 23th, August 2009
Time: 7.30 – 9.05 a.m.

Theme: The American Dream/ “Arriving: Then” by Andy Johnson

During the last double period we started to talk about the text “Arriving: Then” by Andy Johnson, who moved from Finland to the USA.

After the first part of the text (l. 1 -15) was read, a discussion about the reasons for Andy to go to the USA had been started. The most mentioned reasons were “religious and political persecution” by the communistic Russia, during the revolution. Another reason was the absence of money which caused poverty and hunger. Further the case that Andy’s destiny stands for thousands of other people was made.

-Then the push factors which made him go to the USA were elucidated.
In his home country he wasn’t able to improve his bad living conditions and raise the social ladder. Beyond Andy neither had political rights, nor a kind of freedom or independence, because of the oppression of the upper classes.
-Given that there are push factors it was discerned that there have to be pull factors, too. Now it was mentioned, that the American streets were paved in gold and that everything negative in Finland seems to be positive in the USA.
Furthermore the vastness of the land offers a lot of possibilities where to go and promises tolerance and place for everyone.

At the end of the lesson, the last part of page 113 had been read and it was figured out that Andy is superficial, because he denominated the first black man he saw as a slave.
It was also pointed out, that the bananas in the USA emblematize everything he hadn’t at home. They were the incarnation of the end of hunger as well as for the possibility to get everything he wants.

So Andy’s experiences about living in the USA are only positive until now, because he never saw negative things which misgive him at the “American Dream”.

MfG Teufelcheen

P.S.: Besonders beim letzten Satz hab ich meine Zweifel ob man das so schreiben kann.
Frage von Teufelcheen (ehem. Mitglied) | am 25.08.2009 - 19:33


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Antwort von Marichenkaefer (ehem. Mitglied) | 25.08.2009 - 19:35
Du
hast ein sehr gutes Englisch! Kann man so lassen

 
Antwort von GAST | 25.08.2009 - 20:59
During the last double period we started to talk about the text “Arriving: Then” by Andy Johnson, who moved from Finland to the USA.

After the first part of the text (l. 1 -15) had been read(1), a discussion about the reasons for Andy to go to the USA started. The most mentioned reasons were “religious and political persecution” by Communist Russia, during the revolution. Another reason was the absence of money which caused poverty and hunger. Further the case that Andy’s destiny stands for thousands of other people was made.(2)

-Then the push factors which made him go to the USA were elucidated.
In his home country he wasn’t able to improve his bad living conditions and raise the social ladder(3). Beyond (4)Andy neither had political rights, nor a kind of freedom or independence, because of the oppression of the upper classes( 5).
-Given that there are push factors it was discerned that there have to be pull factors, too. Now it was mentioned, that (6) American streets were paved with gold and that everything negative in Finland seemed to be positive in the USA.
Furthermore the vastness of the land offered a lot of chances / opportunities (7)where to go and promised tolerance and place for everyone.

At the end of the lesson, the last part of page 113 was read and it was figured out that Andy was superficial, because he denominated the first black man he saw as a slave.
It was also pointed out, that the bananas in the USA emblematize (8) everything he hadn’t got at home. They were the incarnation of the end of hunger as well as for the possibility(7) to get everything he wants.

So Andy’s experiences about living in the USA were only positive until then, because he had never senn negative things which misgive(9) him at the “American Dream”.


1) Achtung: Zeitenfolge: erst past perfect, dann past
2) unverständlicher Satz: Übersetzt: Weiterhin der Fall wurde gemacht, dass Andys Schicksal für das von Tausenden von Leuten steht.
3) raise = emporheben; hier besser: to climb higher / to rise on ...
4) beyond = jenseits? hier besser: in addition / furthermore...
5) der Nebensatz "because ..." enthält keine Begründung für den voranstehenden Hauptsatz!
6) fehlt ein Einschub : "..., in the opinion of potential Finnish emigrants ..."
7) "Möglichkeiten" mit chances oder opportunities, nicht mit possibilities übersetzen!
8) "versinnbildlichen" = symbolize oder allegorize oder typify

9) misgive? unverständlich!

Ich konnte im vorliegenden Text die kleineren Korrekturen (Streichung, Wortersetzungen usw.) nicht kennzeichnen; du müsstest bitte den Text mit deinem Original genau vergleichen.


Lorli1

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