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englischen text korrigieren

Frage: englischen text korrigieren
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heyy ich hab am freitag eine englisch präsentation und ich wollte euch mal fragen ob ihr meinen text verbessern könnt...

New York in 2012: The humanity beat (the) cancer.
In any case, some scientists believed this. An artificially made virus, that called by his inventor Dr. Alice Kripper (Emma Thompson) should destroy straight cancer cells. However the virus has unexpected and exceedingly fatal side effects, 90% of the population die, 0.2% are immune and all remaining people have fallen ill and show similar rabies symptoms and an unbelievable aggressive against non- infected. The virus spreads out in the organism and in short time he exterminates almost whole humanity. A few of them, maybe the only one which was not attacked by the virus is the ambulance- man Dr. Robert Neville ( Will Smith who plays the male main character). He lives with his sheepdog as the only companion in the once pulsating, now extrict metropolis New York. His wife Zoe ( Salli Richardson) and his little daughter Marley ( Willow Smith) are died by a helicopter collision during the chaotic evacuation of the city in 2009.
But Dr. Neville is not alone in New York: A dangerous horde of infected tracking him. The virus has not killed a small group of people, they live rather in a kind of spiritual mental deragement as extremely aggressive beings hardly humanely to be called. They react sensitively to ultraviolet light they crept mainly at night from the ruins of the city. Anyhow Dr. Neville has hope: If he is immune to this awful epedemic, maybe there are somewhere on this planet still other survivors and maybe an active substance which could cure the attack can be won even from his blood. To test the latter he keeps an infected like a wild animal in is cellar. However, the time flies and Neville doesn’t succeed in taking up any contact with other people. When his loyal sheepdog was bitten, he must kill the animal. The desperation of lonelyness overcomes him finally. From chance he found two other people which were immune. Anna and Ethan (Alice Braga and Charlie Tahan). Dr. Neville allows then the escape in a coal shaft. Afterwards of course with the blood of the infected experimental subject in which the antidote is and sprinkles himself with the attackers in the air. Anna and Ethan come along on the way to a supposed colony of survivors and find them. There she hands over the antidote which signifies the rescue of the humanity.


schonmal im voraus DANKEEEE!<3

lg. nina
Frage von balkan_girl (ehem. Mitglied) | am 16.02.2009 - 19:21

 
Antwort von GAST | 16.02.2009 - 19:44
Du tust also so, als wäre es 2012 und erzählst das, was "jetzt" passiert, richtig? AH! Nein, ich sehe den Namen einer Schauspielerin - es ist also eine Zusammenfassung eines Film?

Here we go:

New York, 2012: Humanity beats cancer.

In any case, some scientists believe(d) this.
An artificially made virus, named after its inventor Dr. Alice Kripper (Emma Thompson), is supposed to destroy [straight?] cancer cells. However, the virus has unexpected and exceedingly fatal side effects; 90% of the population die; 0.2% are immune; all remaining people fall ill and show symptoms similar to rabies and [unbelievable] aggressive behaviour against the non- infected. The virus spreads in organisms and, within a short time, exterminates almost the entire population.
Frage: das hast du doch eben schon gehabt: 90% der Bevölkerung sterben....?

A handful of survivors, maybe the only one that has not been infected with the virus is ambulance- man Dr. Robert Neville ( Will Smith who plays the male main character).
Frage: du sprachst doch vorher von 0,2% der Bevölkerung - hier jetzt "der einzige"?

He lives in the once pulsating, now extint metropolis New York, together with his sheepdog as his only companion. His wife Zoe ( Salli Richardson) and his little daughter Marley ( Willow Smith) have are in a helicopter collision during the chaotic evacuation of the city in 2009.
Dr. Neville, however, is not alone in New York: a dangerous horde of infected people track him. The virus has left a small group of survivors, who are now mentally deranged and show extremely aggressive behaviour which makes it hard to still call them human beings. They react sensitively to ultraviolet light and mainly creep out of the city´s ruins at night. Still, Dr. Neville has hope: if he is immune to the epedemic, maybe there are other survivors elsewhere on the planet. It might even be possible to win a curing substance from his blood. To test this idea, he keeps an infected man like a wild animal in his cellar. However, the time flies and Neville doesn’t succeed in making contact with other healthy people. When his loyal sheepdog is bitten, he has to kill him. His desperation finally overcomes him. By chance, he finds two other people who were immune, Anna and Ethan (Alice Braga and Charlie Tahan). Dr. Neville enables them to escape into a coal shaft.

Afterwards of course with the blood of the infected experimental subject in which the antidote is and sprinkles himself with the attackers in the air.
Ich habe leider keine Ahnung, was du hier ausdrücken willst. :)

Anna and Ethan find their way to a colony of survivors. There they hand over the antidote which signifies the rescue of the humanity.

Ein Virus ist "it", nach Doppelpunkten schreibt man im Englischen immer klein weiter. Bei Personen benutzt man in Relativsätzen "who", bei Dingen/Sache "which". Manchmal drückst du dich ein bisschen unidiomatisch aus - z.B. muss es "by chance" heißen und nicht "from chance". Dein Satzbau ist z.T. ein bisschen "deutsch" - ansonsten alles bestens. :)


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Antwort von balkan_girl (ehem. Mitglied) | 16.02.2009 - 22:20
oah cooL vielen dank ja ist ne englisch präse über den film " i am legend " ^^

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