Korrektur eines englischen Textes *Hilfe*

arg,
Internet, einfach nur Internet ohne artikel

@sandrine danke, das werd ich schon mal ändern,
vllt gibts ja noch en paar Anregungen, hoffe es, ist wichtig für meine Engl.Arbeit am Donnerstag

mal ne frage von mir ...falls es wer weiß...

nach so wörtern wie Finally oder moreover, furthermore, nervertheless, besides...

kommt da ein Komma ? ? ? Also "Finally, I can say that..."

des frag mich mich schon ständig

Also in Ricardas Text nach "However" auch! ^.^

also kommen da überall kommas nach so satzeinleitendenwörtern, okay war mir nimmer ganz sicher

Ok danke Sandrine... "get into isolation" klingt schon viel besser. ^.^

oder fall into isolation...

also ich bin durch wennst noch fehler findest darfst se behalten ^^

Hab meinen Text nochmals überarbeitet - kann ich das so lassen?

The Internet has changed the world greatly within the last few years. The ability to obtain information has become much faster because of this.

By using the Internet instead of books, one can save time and money. With a few mouse clicks, the desired information is quickly found.
Moreover many new professions and also many new jobs have been created by the Internet.

Many new careers have arisen by the Internet.

However, they have many disadvantages.

Many people become isolated because they aren`t around people as much. They lose their social contacts. Through this, the danger of the Internet addiction increases.

Criminals have arisen from the internet as well, because it is easier to deceive. Since there are people who can`t afford to access the Internet, a few people are safe against these criminals.

There are paedophiles, scam artists, and thieves all over the internet.

Result:
The advantages are often the disadvantages, too.


oben einfügen wollte ich noch dieses:
Es gibt viele Menschen, die durch das Internet reich geworden sind. Sie verkaufen ihre Waren oft nicht mehr in einem Laden, sondern weltweit über das Internet.

There are many people who have got rich by the Internet.
They don`t sell their goods often in a store but worldwide via the Internet any more.

Andere verdienen ihr Geld durch Website designing.

Others earn their money by web site designing.
weltweit über das Internet.

There are many people who have got rich by the Internet.
They don`t sell their goods often in a store but worldwide via the Internet any more.

Ist das grammatikalisch ok? Oder kann mans ein bisschen anders formulieren?
Danke