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(un)arranged marriage by Bali Rai: Bitte korrigieren

Frage: (un)arranged marriage by Bali Rai: Bitte korrigieren
(4 Antworten)

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es wäre sehr nett wenn Jemand meinen Text korrigieren würde.
Und evtl auch Vorschläge wie ich es besser machen könnte. Sorry wegen der vielen Fehler, bin sehr schlecht in English :(

Describe the situation and the relationships presented in the extract.

The except from Bali Rai (un)arranged Marriage focus on a seventeen years old boy, who has migration background. In this part his father arrange a sunday meeting with a punjabi family and discuss about his wedding in two weeks. The main occasion is to impress the in law family member by offering well behaviour and different food. The groom father is wearing his best suit to to get a well impression.
The protagonist Manjit is strictly against arranged wedding, to marry a punjabi girl he doesnt even know is like hell, but his family doesnt seem to brother his opinion, instead he got bully by them. Many times he talk to his white british girlfriend Lisa about his problem and her family to get a better solution to get out of his situation. Finally he has to accept it that his family has more power over him.
On a sunday afternoon Manjits in law members come around to visit his family. Everyone seem to be happy, exchange nice words laughing and talking. Manjit have to pretend a good impression, so in this way to get his family proud. He doesnt talk much, but staring at the ceiling. His sister in law makes fun about it, but mostly he and his future bride stay in the background. The high priotity of this meeting is to get a well impression to the in law family. After the meeting his father express his pride to his son by offering him money to buy new clothes for the wedding. At the end Manjit refuse to take his money.

Aufgabe 2
Manjit reaction to the Meeting and the way he describes it. Consider narrative perspective, use of language and the interaction between the characters.

The I narrator and protagonist Manjit extenuate his hopeless situation by analysing every person behaviour and comparing him like into a video game. He says he can afford to get out of this forced wedding, but at the begnning he describe to the reader it has only two weeks before the wedding. Now he hasnt any other option than going brave to the sunday Meeting with his father in laws and other family members. In the part „ The girl didnt actually come with them“ intensified that he absolutely dont like to marry a girl he doesnt even know, but around fifteen other family members are visting his home. He dont care about others but there a many of them and only his future wife arent here. All of the visitors are friendly and everyone try to impress the other. His father prepare tea and delicious punjabi meal to show the other his respect. Usually he stays at home and drink groom, but for this special day he is wearing his best suit and is trying his best way to seem well behave.
Manjit compare himself with a kind of prize bull surrounded by farmers eager to get their cows pregnant. By decribing this comparison he would like to dimmish his fear and hopeless. In reality he doesnt have any plan to do the best of his situation.
The next evidence he would like to dimmish his anger is to imagine this meeting as a videogame. „ All I had to do now was type it in and the cheat wouldwork its magic and take me on, up to the next level, past all themonsters in my way.“ He hope life can be like a video game, a Magic comes and everything will be okay. He compare visitors and probably his own family too as some monsters. He would like to get away and go somewhere else like passing levels in video games. To life in a new world and starts his life again.
He is sitting in the living room and many things pass in his mind, so his sister in law makes fun about him, that he is shy and embarrassing. Lot of the visitors laugh a few do nothing. He is getting annoying and dont shows any emotion back to her comments.The best things what he would like to happend is to dissolve intoair. Readers are feeling his despair and pain when he decribe his mind „ I zoomed out of the room, out of the whole situation, until I was like a fly on the wall. The point of a fly is that there is a exciting meeting about planing a great fourthcomming wedding, Everyones seems to be happy talking, laughing and passing foods around, but by zooming in it has a completely different view. Manjits mother impress the in law Family by saying how proud she is having such a well behave family. All this talk is to impress others, nothing of this are true. His sister wisper to him by smiling. She wants to show to him to act happy and support his mother view about the family relationship.
Later then all of the visitors are gone, his father come into the kitchen, but Manjit dont attend him a glance. He is anry at him and at the same time desperate. He give him money to buy a new suit for the wedding, but Manjit dont allow himself to take it. He is working and earning his own money. By accepting to impress the father in law makes Manjit father pround. And with money he could like to impress his proud to his son.

At the beginning the reader feels the strong pain and desparation in Manjit mind. He has many emotion in his mind but nothing of this can shows to the public, so he stay calm and neutral.

In my opinion it is a sad true story about the tradition and religion of the moslem. Instead of respecting their childrens opinion, their are threatening them bad when Manjit dont accept the moslem culture. Manjit was born and grow up in great britain and have a british girlfriend, so he has a other point of view than his parents. Normally as parents they have to protect and respect their child, it doesnt matter who he would like to married. I hope this traditions would get change and everybody could afford to married the one who love. By analysing this except I am feeling lucky to have a family who is respecting and supporting me in every of my decision.

Frage von once_upon_a_dream (ehem. Mitglied) | am 22.05.2014 - 17:15

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Antwort von once_upon_a_dream (ehem. Mitglied) | 30.05.2014 - 18:46
keiner Lust mein Text zu korrigieren? :(

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Antwort von matata | 30.05.2014 - 21:03
Er ist ziemlich lang, und es handelt sich um ein Buch, das im Moment nicht gerade in ist.

Bitte merke dir, dass du eine Frage grundsätzlich einmal stellen darfst. Es gibt keine Gewährleistung auf eine Antwort, weil alle unsere Helfer freiwillig tätig sind. Wenn keine Antwort kommt, dann ist es eben so.
Mit Spamen riskierst du bloss, dass du verwarnt und anschliessend gesperrt wirst im Forum.
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Antwort von haithabu | 30.05.2014 - 22:07
Ich korrigiere häufig  - und gern - Texte hier im Forum; aber: 1. die Länge ist total abschreckend; auch wenn ich relativ versiert bin, wären das mind.  60 Minuten Arbeit ... für was? Und damit bin ich bei Pkt. 2: Dein Text strotzt nur so von Fehlern, dass eine Neuschrift zeitsparender wäre ... nur: diese Arbeit leiste ich nicht.
Wenn du noch einmal eine Arbeit hier einstellst, solltest du sie "portionieren", denn mehrere kleinere Abschnitte lassen sich gern mal nebenbei korrigieren.

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Antwort von matata | 30.07.2015 - 20:58
@ anniedson:
Das geht gar nicht, dass du auf einen steinalten Thread mit einer Werbung für Brautkleider antwortest. Wir haben unsere eigenen Werbepartner, und nur diese werden berücksichtigt.
Alte Threads werden sowieso nicht sinnloserweise aufgewärmt. Deshalb lösche ich deinen Post einfach.
________________________ - Team

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