Kann jmd. meinen Englischen Text nach Fehlern überfliegen ?

Hey also wir hatten die Aufgabe:

Imagine you were a Hindu and your best friend a Muslim.
After Partition you live on seperate sides of border. Write a letter to express your feelings about Partition.

Dear Jamal,
how are you? Here on our side of the border it is very boring without you. I miss you so much! Why did the people do that? For me the Partition has no sense, because for me there is no difference between Hindus and Muslims. We all are human made from god. And also a lot of people loos their friends, like me. That`s so sad. The people act like they have no heart. And i think untill no one change this state, where we live now, the people here will live very sad.

Try to write back, Sevim.

Könntet ihr den mal überfliegen und mich auf meine fehler aufmerksam machen oder was könnte ich noch hinzufügen ?

Danke.