Hausaufgabe im Fach Englisch: Bitte um Korrektur des Textes

Hallo,
bin in der 8.
Klasse des Gymnasiums und musste als Hausgabe einen freien Text verfassen. Es ging um eine Bildbeschreibung (Junge läuft vor ein Flugzeug). Leider klappt es bei mir nicht so mit dem Verfassen von freien Texten, insbesondere der Verwendung der richtigen Grammatik. Unser Lehrer meinte, dass der Text im Simple Past geschrieben werden soll. Könnte mir vielleicht jemand den Text diesbezüglich Korrektur lesen? Vielen Dank. Hier nun der Text:

Überschrift: A plane killed a young boy
On Monday morning was "Take your child to work day". Josh and his dad Mr. Joung drove to the airport in Atlanta because Mr. Joung travalled there. He was the manager. Josh was really nervous because he wasn`t never fly with a plane.
One hour later they arrived the airport. Mr. Joung must talked with an important person of the airport. So he can`t saw, that Josh was ran to the plane parc where the planes landed and started. Josh went updown and after a short time, he was outside. Josh was a little bit scared, because the planes were so big. At this time Mr. Joung looked for his sun, but he didn`t find Josh. Josh walked around and went on a long way. He think, that it could be a long motorway. But suddenly a big plane came in front of Josh from the sky. Now Josh knew what the long way was. It was the way where Planes started and landed. He was shocked and cried. But it was too late. After a long time he wake up, he was in a hospital, but he was so happy, that he lived.