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Korrekturlesen! Danke des wär super!

Frage: Korrekturlesen! Danke des wär super!
(21 Antworten)

 
Hey ihr! Hab eine Gfs in Englisch und wollt sie nochmal vorher von jemandem Korrekturlesen lassen. Wär super wenn des jemand machen würde! Is kein schwieriges Englisch ich bin mir nur mit den Zeiten als nich sicher! Danke schonmal im Vorraus!


Hello my name is Momo!

The most of you know me the others will know me when I have told you my story of this book.
I was a little homeless girl and live into the ruins of an old broken amphitheatre is on the outskirts of a city.
The whole neighbourhood decided to take care of me by bringing me food and furnishing my rooms.
I took care of them in turn by listen to them. I listened and talked with them about their problems.
I loved my little ruin and thought that the ruin was very beautiful.
Children visited me often because they loved my fantastical, funny ideas and games which I played with them.
It was a live of happiness and love,
a live with my friends.
But I had two very special friends! They came to see me every day and shared what little they had with me.
One was young and the other old and I could not have said which of them I loved more.
The old one’s name was Beppo Roadsweper . He lived near the amphitheatre and was not much taller than me.
Beppo was believed to be not quite right in his head. This was because when somebody asked a question he would give an crazy smile and say nothing.
But after an hour or even a whole day he gave his answer.
So the asking person would have forgotten what the question was.
Only I was waiting many hours for his answer because I knew that Beppo took as long as he did because he was determined never to say anything untrue or wrong.
My other best friend Giggi was a great storyteller. New stories popped into his head as fast as he could told them.
He was making his money by giving tours of the amphitheatre filled with false stories from his imagination.
Our live was wonderful but than the men in grey came in our city. They wore only grey clothes and their faces were grey and unfriendly. All of them smoked little grey cigars.
They worked in a “ Time Saving Bank”
Nobody knew the value of an hour or a minute or even of a little second as well as they!
The only thing the grey men wanted to do was to waste someone’s time.
This time was in a form of a flower called “ Time Flower” which the men needed to produce their cigars.
They only could stay alive by smoking cigar’s.
The grey men told a pack of lies to people.
The people believed everything and gave the men in grey their time.
Beispiel Mr. Figaro S. 55
One day I said to Giggi and Beppo that our other friends come less and less.
Beppo and Giggi thought the same like than I.
So I visited all my old friends one by one.
I talked with them why they don`t have time any more but they didn`t know.
We talked and laughed about old times and after my visits they were more happy than before.
When I came home after I met my friends there was lying a doll on the steps of the old amphitheatre.
It was so lifelike that it looked like a stylish young woman from town.
I touched the doll and she said in a metallic voice:
- Hello, I am Lola, the Living doll.
I wanted to speak with the doll but she said always the same.
-I belong to you.
-All the other kids envy you because I am yours.
-I would like some nice new things.
-Hello I am Lola, the living doll.
and so on……
Suddenly it was getting colder and colder.
I looked around. There stood a smart grey car behind me. A grey man was sitting in the car.
He got out of the car and told me that playing with the doll is much better than meeting my friends.
He said that my friends don’t love me.
But after my question:
Isn`t there anyone who loves you?
His face turned a shade greyer and greyer. He was boiling with rage and so he betrayed the thruth of the Time Saving Bank.
I told this storie to Giggi and Beppo.
So we got a Plan. We called every boy and girl to came to the marked place and made a big demonstration with banners and posters against the Time Saving Bank.
Banner machen
Slogan aufsagen S.99/100
After a while the police stepped in and broke up the procession. After the demonstration the friends were going home and were looking forward to next Sunday.
But nobody came to the meeting place.
We were very sad and disappointed .
Giggi, Beppo and my other friends went home.
But I was still sitting on the steps of the amphitheatre. I was waiting.
For what? I didn’t know.
But suddenly I saw a big tortoise looking up at me.
Follow me was noted on the tortoise`s back.
Step by step I followed the tortoise as it slowly, very slowly, led her out of the amphitheatre and headed for the city.
After a long time I said :” Tortoise, aren’t you going to tell where you are taking me?
Some letters took shape on the tortoise`s shell.
Don’t be scared!
At the same time the Time Saving Bank was searching me everywhere and wanted to stop me.
The tortoise`s name was Cassiopeia and she had the ability to see one half hour into the future.
She took me to the mysterious professor Hora who explained me the inner workings of time and prepared me for my counterstrike against the grey men.
In the house of professor Hora clocks were standing or hanging wherever I looked.
His house was called “ Nowhere house” and he was the guardian of time.
I talked with him about the grey men.
S. 137
After one year in the Nowhere house I was worried about my friends and went home to look after them.
The world I returned was not like the world I left with Cassiopeia.
All my friends didn’t have time even Beppo and Giggi. They were unhappie and sad and couldn’t love anyone.
I was alone and very scared of the men in grey.
I knew I must help my friends but I didn’t know how.

So I went back to professor Hora with Cassiopeia.
He said to me: “ you are the only one who can rescue the time and the world of happiness and love.
He told me that he will freeze the time for one hour and I have to find the tresor with the time flowers and open it.
So he did as he had sad and the time stood still for an hour.
Without time the men in grey couldn’t survive because they couldn’t produce more time cigars.
As they saw me the grey men wanted to catch me.
I ran like lightening and Cassiopeia helped me to left behind the bad men.
I found the tresor of the Time Saving Bank opened it and release the time of the people.
The men in grey were destroyed and the people of the world were finally again happy and filled with love and enough time for each other.
GAST stellte diese Frage am 22.05.2008 - 12:33

 
Antwort von GAST | 22.05.2008 - 12:49
ich
glaub beim zweiten satz muss es heißen and livED ;)

 
Antwort von GAST | 22.05.2008 - 12:50
ja stimmt ;-) Danke!

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:27
wieder im zweiten satz fehlt nach dem amphitheater ein which würd ich sagen

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:28
I took care of them in turn by listen(ing) to them!
da muss es listening heißen da bei by die ing form sein muss

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:30
Children visited me often because they loved my fantastical, funny ideas and games which I played with them.

Ohne des which

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:44
Beppo was believed to be not quite right in his head..

des is en Germanism wie unsre lehrerin sagt! direkt aus dem deutschen übersetzt ! ich würd sagen quite mad/insane

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:47
e was making his money by giving tours of the amphitheatre

ich würd sagen through the amphitheatre

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:48
Our live was wonderful but than the men in grey came in our cit
des than mit e also then denk ich

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:50
Beispiel Mr. Figaro S. 55

Example Mr. Figaro p. 55 oder solls bzw darfs auf Deutsch sein

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:52
Beppo and Giggi thought the same like than I
ich würd sagen ohne des like und dann myself

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:54
I talked with them why they don`t have time any more but they didn`t know.

ich würd sagen
i talked to them

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:56
betrayed the thruth of the Time Saving

das thruth ist falsch-> truth

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:57
I told this storie to Giggi and Beppo.

Story mit y

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:58
After a while the police stepped in and broke up the procession.

wieder ein germanism(broke up) es sollte stopped heißen

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.05.2008 - 23:59
For what?
einfach anderstrum dann stimmts What for?

 
Antwort von GAST | 24.05.2008 - 00:01
The world I returned was not like the world I left with Cassiopeia.

hinter returned noch ein in

 
Antwort von GAST | 24.05.2008 - 00:02
unhappie

mit y hinten statt ie

 
Antwort von GAST | 24.05.2008 - 00:02
I knew I must help my friends but I didn’t know how.

i knew i had to help my friends is denk ich richtig

 
Antwort von GAST | 24.05.2008 - 00:03
So he did as he had sad and the time stood still for an hour.

ohne had

 
Antwort von GAST | 24.05.2008 - 00:04
I found the tresor of the Time Saving Bank opened it and release the time of the people.

noch ein d an das release(d), weil es ja vergangenheit ist

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