Korrektur eines Textes zum Thema Technologie

Technology:
Technology is very helpful and makes life easier.
On the one hand technology can help us (f. e. medical treatment) but on the other hand it could be endangering because we could become dependent. Already in the 18th century technology helped people. In Germany there was f. e. the "Industrialisierung". Besides modern security technology help make much crime more difficult with inventions like burglar alarms. Because of the technology it is possible to find unknown persons with an identikit. The Humanity is able to drive from A to B and people who are ill or have to be operated can be healed with medical treatments which work with technology.
I think technology is important for us. It helps many people and makes life easier.

Can Humans be replaced by robots?
Already in the 21th century many workers in the factory`s were replaced by robots or machines and lost their jobs. So why shouldn`t it be possible that soon all workers in factory`s or in other jobs are replaced by robots and machines? It will make work and life easier but there would be also many unemployed persons who would lose their jobs because of the robots.

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Ich hab`s mir einfach mal durchgelesen und hier und da mal was verändert. Kann sein, dass da noch Fehler drin sind, aber ich bin auch kein Englischprofi! ^^
Ein Tipp: Achte immer auf die Zeiten. Du sprichst manchmal von Sachen in der Vergangenheit und benutzt die Gegenwartsform des Verbs.
Beispiel: Already in the 18th century technology helps people, it was the "Industrialisierung".
-> Hier sagst du erst "helps", also Gegenwart und dann "was" also Vergangenheit. So geht das nicht!
Schau dir auch nochmal die If-Constructions an: http://www.ego4u.de/de/cram-up/grammar/conditional-sentences

Und wie gesagt: Immer auf die Zeiten achten. Wenn damals was passiert ist, schreib`s in einer Vergangenheitsform, wenn du über die heutige Zeit redest, nimm das Simple Present oder das Present Progressive. Was du davon wann nimmst hängt von der Situation ab! ;)

Viel Glück Montag! =)