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Bitte Text korrigieren

Frage: Bitte Text korrigieren
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My Name is John ****, I am 16 years old and visit the comprehensive school **** in ****.
My expected school graduation is the FOR with the Qualification to make my Abitur (A-level).
My plans for the next three years are to hold my grades and get my Abitur with a good average (2.0+).


I am in the class 10A and my class teachers are Mr.**** and Mrs.
****.
My favorite subjects are sport, history, technics and of course english with Mr.****.
My weak subjects are maths, english and art.
Sadly I am bad at learing languages and also not talented in maths.
My favorite teachers are Mr.****, Mr.**** (even though he is sometimes like an alien) and Mrs. ****.


My friends and employers concider me as a helpful, sporty , communicative, powerful and nice person. So i have the strength to in a team.
In addition I am punctual at school or at work, reliable if my teacher or my employer give me a order. Furthemore I can say about me, that I am very through, for example all my school folders and exercise books are very good led. Also I am creative and do my work with eare. I will always be the first and I try to make no mistakes.
To my additional skills can i rank, that I can cope with stressful situations and have a predetermined discipline, because i work in a restaurant and did two work experiences.


My first work expericnce was at the car workshop BMW in Düsseldorf. I learned there how to repair cars.
For example I was able to change the oil or to change the winter tires against summer tires. Or to repair the components form the engine with the help from my colleagues.
The other work experience was at the Volksbank in Düsseldorf. There I learned to commuicate with customers and how to use the money counting machine.
In both experiences I got a very good feedback, the employers gave me a reward.


My dreamjob is to play football as a pro for real madrid or for bayern munich.
But that is a dream, so i like to do a sporty job, I love sport. Because I do it every day, in a club or in my freetime.
For example, sport teacher or police officer is a good sporty job.
Or I like to be a plane pilot, if I find in the past a rich person who can sponsor the fly license.
But before I start to work, I have to spend a lot of my time to learn english with Mr.****.
Indeed it is a long and difficult way, but who knows?
Maybe it happen and I can speak someday better english than Mr.****, because I enjoy and accept challenges daily.


[****= Zensierung der Namen]
Falls jemand zuende gelesen hat, an dieser Stelle ein dankeschön im voraus!
PS: Könntet ihr mir auch bitte einige Textanfänge/ Sätze auflisten?
MfG
Frage von zZGPayaZz (ehem. Mitglied) | am 11.06.2013 - 22:15


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Antwort von cleosulz | 12.06.2013 - 08:20
http://www.ego4u.de/de/cram-up/writing/comments/vocabulary03

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Antwort von zZGPayaZz (ehem. Mitglied) | 12.06.2013 - 13:49
Kann denn niemand korrigieren?


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Antwort von haithabu (ehem. Mitglied) | 12.06.2013 - 20:19
Zitat:
My Name is John ****, I am 16 years old and attendthe comprehensive school **** in ****.
My expected school graduation will be the FOR with the qualificationto passmy Abitur examination (A-level).
My plans for the next three years will beto keep the level of my grades and to pass my Abitur examination with a good grade average (2.0+).


I am in [---] class 10A and my class teachers are Mr.**** and Mrs. ****.
My favourite subjects are Sports, History,
Technics and of course English with Mr.****.
My weak subjects are Maths, English?1) and Art.

[---] I am bad at learning languages, I`m afraid, and I amalso not talented in Maths.
My favourite teachers are Mr.****, Mr.**** (even though he sometimes behaves like an alien) and Mrs. ****.


My friends and employers concider me as a helpful, sporty , communicative, powerful and nice person. So I have the strength of working in a team.
In addition I am punctual at school or at work, reliable when my teachers or my employers have givenme an order. Furthermore I can say about myself that I am very neat and correct, for example all my school folders and exercise books are very well organized. I am also creative and do my work with care. I will always be among the first and I try to make no mistakes.
I can point outas some of my additional skillsthat I can cope with stressful situations and have a predetermined discipline, because I work in a restaurant and I have done two practical work trainings .


My first practical work training was at the car workshop BMW in Düsseldorf. I learned there how to repair cars.
For example I was able to change [---] oil or to change [---] winter tyresagainst summer tires. Or to repair [--] engine components [---]with the help of my colleagues.
The other practical work training was at the Volksbank in Düsseldorf. There I learned to communicate with customers and how to use the money counting machine.
In both trainings I got a very good feedback, the employers gave me a reward.


My dreamjob is to play football as a pro for Real Madridor for
Bayern Munich.
But that is a dream, so Ilike to do a sporty job, I love sports. Because I do it every day, in a club or in my freetime.
For example, sport teacher or police officer are good sportive jobs.
Or I like to become a plane pilot, if I find
a rich person who can sponsor my flight license.
But before I start to work, I have to spend a lot of my time to learn English with Mr.****.
Indeed it is a long and difficult way, but who knows?
Maybe it will happen and I will be able to speak someday better English than Mr.****, because I enjoy and accept challenges daily.


1) wieso ist Englisch einerseits dein Lieblings. und dein schwaches Fach?

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