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Englisch-Facharbeit

Frage: Englisch-Facharbeit
(6 Antworten)


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Hallo leute,
könnt ihr mir vielleicht mein text Korrigieren ?
Ich weiß, das mein Englisch grotten schlecht ist.

The film raisin in the sun directed by kenny leon, is a drama film from 2008.
the film deals with the life of a family, called Youngers. The story is about hope and realize the dreams of the family. The story is a very emotional narration from the 1950´s. Lena Younger is a widowed and a religious woman. She will gotten the insurance money from his dead husband. She want to use the insurance money from his husband to buy an house with a garden to achieve her dream for her family to move up in a better life and better living conditions. Walter lee younger is the son from Lena. He is the dreamer in the family. He wants to be rich and would like to open a liquor store with his friend and plans to acquire wealth with his friend and Willy harris. Walter lee is married to be Ruth younger. Ruth is a woman about thirty, but her weairness her seem older. Ruth takes care of the small apartment. She have problems in her marriage with Walter and hope to solve his problems. Benethia is the daughter from Lena and the little sister from Walter Lee. She is twenty years old and is very intelligent and educated. She want to put across his dream of being a doctor as a well educated black woman. The problems in the family began with the insurance money from 10.000 $. All the family members have other ideas to spend the money. But the majority problem was Walter lee. He want to open a liquor store with his friend and willy harris. As he have experienced that the his mother, lena has buy a house in the white quarter ,he was very dissapointed. The other promblem was the marriage, because ruth was pregnat and want abort the the baby. The reason to want abort the baby was walters muted. He was absent and depressed. But the positional have changed and ruth have different decided. The mother Lena have give the rest of the money to walter lee therewith he can achieve his dream and say that 3.000$ are for betethias study.
So have the sittuation from the family younger has improved and all the family members achieve his dreams because mama Lena want to buy his own family house ruthe too. Ruth want to have a better living conditions and walter want to open his own liquore store lastly betethia, have become a support from his mother for his dreame to being a doctor as black-woman.
Futhermore, benethia wants to be successful in her life and job but more important is that he wants to have a happy life. This imagination was destroyed, because Walter Lee and his friend Bobo were deceived from Willy Harris.( Die familie war schon in der neue wohnung „Haus“ als sie erfahren haben das das ganze geld verloren gegangen ist bzw.Walter verarscht wurde.)
The family was dissapointed because walter lee have the money from benethia spend too.
Finally the family have only the house as possession. As the enviroment have seen the family youngers as sole black-family they have send the Minister from the white -viertel to wheedle to move out for the twice as much payment. The first answer from the family youngers was against because the family was free to make decision. But walter have altered his meaning as he have experience that willy harris have stoled the money and want to sell the house for the money. He dont want to stop his dream. At the end walter have understood his mistake and have dont pride his injured.
Mother lena have says, it was the day that he grow up .

(Walter lee wollte erst das haus nicht verkaufen,weil er der meinung war das sie sich schon richtig entschieden haben und alles am gut laufen war bis er erfahren hat, dass er von seinem willy harris hintergangen wurde, wollte er das haus verkaufen um mit dem geld seinen traum weiterhin zu verwirklichen. Am Ende hat er es aber begriffen und wollte das haus nicht verkaufen als der mann gekommen ist um den vertrag zu unterschreiben.somit hat er seinen traum nicht verwirklichen können aber seinen stolz immernoch behalten in dem er sich dagegen entschieden hat).
Frage von asi061 | am 06.03.2011 - 14:29

 
Antwort von GAST | 06.03.2011 - 15:08
Zitat:
The film rai1)sin in the su2)n directed by ke3)nny leo4)n, is a drama film from 2008.
the5) film deals with the life of a family, called Youngers. The story is about hope and realize7) the dreams of the family. The story is a very emotional narration from the 1950´s. Lena Younger is a widowed8) and a religious woman. She will9) gotten 10)insurance money from11) his 12)dead husband. She want13) to use the insurance money from11) his 12)husband to buy an14) house with a garden to achieve15) her dream for her family to move up in16) a better life and better living conditions. Walter le17)e you 18)nger is the son from19) Lena. He is the dreamer in the family. He wants to be rich and would like to open a liquor store with his friend and plans to acquire wealth with his friend and Willy harr20)is. Walter lee 21)is married to be22) Ruth yo 23)unger. Ruth is a woman about thirty, but her weairness24) her25) seem 26) older. Ruth takes care of the small apartment. She have27) problems in her marriage with Walter and hope29) to solve his29) problems.


zugegeben, eine Reihe von Fehlern entstanden dadurch, dass du die Namen nicht groß geschrieben hast: aber fast 30 Fehler auf einer so kurzen Textstrecke "are even too much for me". Denke mal über die Tonne und eine Neuschrift nach.
Denn wenn du in En Facharbeit schreibst, hast du En als Leistungsfach_ da fragt sich jeder, der diesen Text liest: wie konntest du dich bis hierhin 11. (G8) oder 12. Klasse durchmogeln?

old- but-alert


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Antwort von Rubi-Bubi-Man | 06.03.2011 - 15:24
The film "raisin in the sun", directed by kenny leon, is a drama film from 2008. The film deals with the life of a family, called Youngers. The story is about hope and realize the dreams of the family. The story is a very emotional narration from the 1950´s.

Lena Younger is a widowed and a religious woman. She has gotten the insurance money from his dead husband. She wants to use the insurance money from his husband to buy a house with a garden to achieve the dream of her family, to move up in a better life and better living conditions.

Walter lee younger, is the son from Lena. He is the dreamer in the family. He wants to be rich, and would like to open a liquor store with his friend and plans to acquire wealth with his friend and Willy harris. Walter lee is married to Ruth younger.
Ruth is a woman, who is about thirty. Her weariness, however, makes her look older. Ruth also takes care of the small apartment. She has problems in her marriage and hopes to solve this problems.

Benethia is the daughter of Lena, and Walter Lee`s little sister. She is twenty years old, and very intelligent and educated. She wants to put across her dream of being a doctor, as a well-educated black woman.

The problems in the family started with the insurance money of 10.000 $. All the family members had other ideas of how to spend the money.
But the major problem was Walter lee. He wanted to open a liquor store with his friend and with Willy Harris. As he has realized that his mother, Lena, has bought a house in the white quarter ,he was very dissapointed. The other promblem was the marriage, due to ruth being pregnat and the intention to abort the baby. The reason why she wanted to abort the baby, was Walters Muted. He was absent (meinst du: abstinence? abstent= abwesend) and depressed.

But the situation has changed, since Ruth took a different decision(Ich wusste nicht was dein Satz bedeuten soll ,sry) ^^. Lena, the mother, gave the rest of the money to Walter Lee, so he could achieve his dream - althought misleding her, by saying that $ 3,000 were for betethias(?) study. (Ich hatte keine Ahnung was der Satz heißen sollte :D hab einfach irgendwas geschrieben. Klär mich hier auf :D)

Thus, the situtation of the family has improved a lot, and all family mermber
So have the sittuation from the family younger has improved and all the family member achieved their dreams, thanks to mama Lena, who wanted to buy her family a house.Auch hier hab ich nich` so ganz verstanden was du meinst :)

Ruth wanted to have better living conditions and Walter wanted to open his own liquore store. Lastly(?) betethia, got support from her mother for her dream, being a doctor as black woman.
Futher, Benethia wanted to be successful in her life and job, but more important is that ?he oder she? wanted a happy life.

This idea of hers was destroyed, because Walter Lee and his friend Bobo were deceived from Willy Harris.( Die familie war schon in der neue wohnung „Haus“ als sie erfahren haben das das ganze geld verloren gegangen ist bzw.Walter verarscht wurde.) The family has already been in the new appartment, as the learned that all the money was lost. Ich bin nicht dein Übersetzer ^^

___________

Hab leider keine Zeit mehr. Vielleicht mach ich den Rest später.

Paar Tipps:

Lerne unbedingt, dass, wenn du von "ihm" sprichst (also: he), es seins, also his, ist!
Das gleiche bei "ihr" - es ist ihres, also hers.

Versuche neue Wörter, statt immer nur "but" und "because" zu verwenden.

Zusammenhänge, zusammenhänge, zusammenhänge! Es gibt so viele "Connectors", wie "Furter", "However" oder "In addition". Google mal danach!

Zitat:
http://abiturerfolg.de/howtowriteatextanalysis.html


Und Strukturen und Absätze - einfach deine Gliederung - scheint bei dir noch eine Frage zu sein. Faustregel: Neue Idee bzw. Thema = Neuer Absatz.

Also, ich hoff ich konnt` helfen. Beherzige meine Regeln, dann klappt das ^^


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Antwort von asi061 | 06.03.2011 - 15:26
Ich bin nicht im englisch lk. ich muss die facharbeit in englisch schreiben, weil ich ja schlecht bin.


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Antwort von asi061 | 06.03.2011 - 15:29
Viele dank für die hilfe :D


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Antwort von Rubi-Bubi-Man | 06.03.2011 - 15:34
Achja, wie der herr old-but-alert schon erwähnt hat, GROß- und kleinschreibung.

Im Englischen muss man nun wirklich nicht viel Groß schreiben. Namen, Städte und Titel. Also, da kannste ordentlich Punkte verschenken.

 
Antwort von GAST | 06.03.2011 - 18:50
Zitat:
The film "raisin in the sun", directed by kenny leon, is a drama film from 2008. The film deals with the life of a family, called Youngers. The story is about hope and the realisation of the dreams of the family. The story is a very emotional narration set in the 1950´s.

Lena Younger is a widowed and a religious woman. She has got the insurance money of her dead husband. She wants to use the [---] money [---] to buy a house with a garden to fulfill her family ` s dream , to move up into a better life and to better living conditions.

Walter lee younger, is Lena`s son Lena. He is the dreamer in the family. He wants to be rich, and would like to open a liquor store with his friend and plans to acquire wealth with his friend and Willy harris. Walter lee is married to Ruth younger.
Ruth is a woman who is about thirty. Her weariness, however, makes her look older. Ruth also takes care of the small apartment. She has problems in her marriage and hopes to solve these problems.

Benethia is Lena`s daughter and Walter Lee`s little sister. She is twenty years old, and very intelligent and educated. She wants to make her dream of becoming a doctor come true, as a well-educated black woman.

The problems in the family started with the insurance money of $ 10.000 . All the family members had other ideas of how to spend the money.
But the major problem was Walter lee. He wanted to open a liquor store with his friend and with Willy Harris. When he [---] realized that his mother, Lena, had bought a house in the white quarter ,he was very dissapointed. The other promblem was the marriage, due to ruth being pregnat and her intention to abort the baby. The reason why she wanted to abort the baby, was Walters Muted.? He was absent? (meinst du: abstinence? abstent= abwesend) and depressed.

But the situation [---] changed, since Ruth had made a different decision^^.


Ich habe keine Lust mehr; trotz der Korrektur von Rubi-Bubi oder anderen sind da noch so viele Fehler und unverständliche Textstellen enthalten..

An die Damen/Herren Korrektoren: dass im Englischen - wie im Deutschen - bei Personennamen in Genitiv der "Saxon Genitvie" mit "`" steht setze ich für Korrektoren als bekannt voraus.

Also: "Lena`s daughter" und nicht "the daughter of Lena."
Ihr sagt im Deutschen ja auch nicht. "das ist meine Mutter ihr Mantel" wenn ihr "meiner Mutters Mantel" sagen wollt.

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