Brauche Hilfe bei der Kurzgeschichte "Saturday afternoon"

Es hätte doch sein könnne das die geschichte jemand kennt und mir auch deutsch eine ablauffolge schreiben kann :S

Die Geschichte ist hier:

http://www.nbu.bg/webs/amb/american/4/caldwell/afternoon.htm

http://www.englischboard.de/topic,2574,-korrigieren-waere-sehr-lieb.html

Du kannst hier keine Aufgaben bestellen. Aber ich kann dir helfen. die Geschichte zu verstehen. Die Arbeit machst du aber selber.
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 e-Hausaufgaben.de - Team

Tom Denny is a butcher and always stretched out on the meatblock in his butcher shop. The meatblock was the only comfortable place in the butcher shop so Tom relaxed a while.
There was no other butcher shop in the town.
Tom brushed the flies off his face and tool and had a little snooze.
Tom chewed on his tobacco while he was lying on his meatblock. The juice of his tobacco dripped down his throat He spit it out.
As Tom had a snooze, Jim Baxter came from the Barbershop to Tom`s butchershop. They were partner. Jim helped him on busy days.
Jim and Tom spoke about going down to the creek to kill a negro.
Tom bound his shoes and ran through the street behind Jim.
Tom had his shotgun under his arm, and Jim had pulled the chopper from the meatblock.
Tom got into a car, which went down to the creek.
Will was a smart guy and earned a lot of money with his cotton.
He earned more money than Jim and Tom. Because of that, people didn`t like him.
After they had found Will, Tom shot at him with his shotgun as fast as he could. All the other men who had come with Tom and Jim had guns, too. They shot at Will. Wills body was filled with bullets. His body sagged from the neck where the trace chain held him up.
After the massacre of will, they put his body up in a tree.there the dead man hung on a limb.
Tom and Jim went back to their town. They were in haste. they were several hours away and nobody was in their shops. Tt was almost 4 o`clock and the customers wanted to buy some meat. They worked together.


Ich habe deine story line dahingehend geändert, dass ich den häufigen Wechsel zwischen past unsd present zu Gunsten von past geändert habe. Hättest du eine Inhaltsangabe schreiben sollen, wäre natürlich das present angebracht gewesen.
Lies dir den Trext genau durch, um die Änderungen zu erkennen.
Du scheinst die Geschichte ja doch verstanden zu haben; ich bin gespannt, ob ihr sie auch interpretieren müsst; ich wer de dir dann gern helfen.

Meine Korrektur betrifft nicht den Inhalt des eingestellten Beitrages.

Lorli1

Ich begehe als Neu-Registrierter gleich zum Einstieg mal eine Forums-Todessünde und grabe einen alten Thread aus *geschocktes Lufteinziehen im Publikum*: Was ist das denn bitteschön für eine Storyline? Du erwähnst unnötige Details ("stretching/sprawling on the meatblock") und kupferst einfach nur originale Sätze aus der Kurzgeschichte ab... setzen 6!