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Brauche Hilfe bei der Kurzgeschichte "Saturday afternoon"

Frage: Brauche Hilfe bei der Kurzgeschichte "Saturday afternoon"
(8 Antworten)


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Hallo :)
Muss als Hausaufgabe eine Storyline zu der Geschichte "Saturday afternoon" von Erskine Caldwell schreiben.
Beziehungsweise ein Ablauffolge der Geschichte. Habe die Geschichte nicht ganz verstanden und weiss auch nich wie man eine Storyline schreibt :S
Kennt zufällig einer die Geshcichte spontan und könnte mir so bei der storyline helfen? SCHNELL :(

Wäre super nett!
Liebe Grueße
Sunny1809 :)
Frage von Sunny1809 | am 23.08.2009 - 17:55


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Antwort von matata | 23.08.2009 - 18:10
Unmögliches erledigen wir sofort - Wunder dauern etwas länger !


Was hast du an der Geschichte nicht verstanden?
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Antwort von Sunny1809 | 23.08.2009 - 18:15
Es hätte doch sein könnne das die geschichte jemand kennt und mir auch deutsch eine ablauffolge schreiben kann :S


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Antwort von Sunny1809 | 23.08.2009 - 18:28
Also es wäre lieb wenn einer die Geshcichte kenn und mir auf deutsch eine Ablauffolge bezihungsweise einen handlungsfolge schreiben könnte..


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Antwort von matata | 23.08.2009 - 18:43
Die Geschichte ist hier:

http://www.nbu.bg/webs/amb/american/4/caldwell/afternoon.htm

http://www.englischboard.de/topic,2574,-korrigieren-waere-sehr-lieb.html

Du kannst hier keine Aufgaben bestellen. Aber ich kann dir helfen. die Geschichte zu verstehen. Die Arbeit machst du aber selber.
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Antwort von Sunny1809 | 23.08.2009 - 18:58
Ich habe jetzt mal versucht mit meinen schlechten Englischküsten einen halbwegs guten text zu verfassen. Wäre nett wenn ihn einer korrigieren könnte oder mir ein paar tipps geben könnte was ich anders machen kann:

Storyline:
Tom Denny is a butcher and always strechted out on the meatblock in his butchershop. The meatblock is the only comfortable place in the butcher shop so Tom relaxed awhile.
There is no other butcher shop in the town.
Tom brushed the flies off his face and tool a little snooze.
Tom champs on his tobacco during he lies on his meatblock. The juice of his tobacco flow his throat down. He spit it out.
As Tom had a snooze, Jim Baxter came from the Barbershop to Tom`s Butchershop. They were partner. Jim helps him on busy days.
Jim and Tom spoke about to going down to the creek and kill the negro.
Tom bound his shoesnand ran through the street behind Jim.
Tom had his shotgun under his armm, and Jim had pulled the chooper from the meatblock.
Tom get into a car, which drives down to the creek.
Will was a smart guy and earns a lot of money with his cotton.
He earns more money than Jim and Tom. Because of that, people donnt like him.
As they found will, Tom shot at him with his shotgun as fast as he could. All the other men who comes with Tom and Jim had guns, too. They shot at Will. Wills body was filled with bullets.His body sagged from the neck where the trace chain held him up.
after the massacre of will, they put his body up in a tree.the the dead man hung on a limb.
tom and jim went back to his town. they were in haste. they were several hours away and nobody was in their shops. it was almost 4 o`clock and the customers want to buy some meat. they workes together.

 
Antwort von GAST | 23.08.2009 - 22:09
Tom Denny is a butcher and always stretched out on the meatblock in his butcher shop. The meatblock was the only comfortable place in the butcher shop so Tom relaxed a while.
There was no other butcher shop in the town.
Tom brushed the flies off his face and tool and had a little snooze.
Tom chewed on his tobacco while he was lying on his meatblock. The juice of his tobacco dripped down his throat He spit it out.
As Tom had a snooze, Jim Baxter came from the Barbershop to Tom`s butchershop. They were partner. Jim helped him on busy days.
Jim and Tom spoke about going down to the creek to kill a negro.
Tom bound his shoes and ran through the street behind Jim.
Tom had his shotgun under his arm, and Jim had pulled the chopper from the meatblock.
Tom got into a car, which went down to the creek.
Will was a smart guy and earned a lot of money with his cotton.
He earned more money than Jim and Tom. Because of that, people didn`t like him.
After they had found Will, Tom shot at him with his shotgun as fast as he could. All the other men who had come with Tom and Jim had guns, too. They shot at Will. Wills body was filled with bullets. His body sagged from the neck where the trace chain held him up.
After the massacre of will, they put his body up in a tree.there the dead man hung on a limb.
Tom and Jim went back to their town. They were in haste. they were several hours away and nobody was in their shops. Tt was almost 4 o`clock and the customers wanted to buy some meat. They worked together.


Ich habe deine story line dahingehend geändert, dass ich den häufigen Wechsel zwischen past unsd present zu Gunsten von past geändert habe. Hättest du eine Inhaltsangabe schreiben sollen, wäre natürlich das present angebracht gewesen.
Lies dir den Trext genau durch, um die Änderungen zu erkennen.
Du scheinst die Geschichte ja doch verstanden zu haben; ich bin gespannt, ob ihr sie auch interpretieren müsst; ich wer de dir dann gern helfen.

Meine Korrektur betrifft nicht den Inhalt des eingestellten Beitrages.

Lorli1


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Antwort von Sunny1809 | 23.08.2009 - 22:22
Dankeschoen für deine Hilfe :)
Ich glaube wir werden in nicht interpretieren müssen, dafür aber Charakterisierungen schreiben.
Falls ich Hilfe brauche, melde ich mich natürlich :)
Danke nochmal.
Sunny 1809


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Antwort von Anokratie | 18.06.2014 - 22:37
Ich begehe als Neu-Registrierter gleich zum Einstieg mal eine Forums-Todessünde und grabe einen alten Thread aus *geschocktes Lufteinziehen im Publikum*: Was ist das denn bitteschön für eine Storyline? Du erwähnst unnötige Details ("stretching/sprawling on the meatblock") und kupferst einfach nur originale Sätze aus der Kurzgeschichte ab... setzen 6!

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