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Korrekturlesen bitte :))

Frage: Korrekturlesen bitte :))
(7 Antworten)


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Hey :) wäre lieb,wenn ihr einmal das folgende Essay lesen könntet & mir Verbesserungstipps gebt :)

Beauty
Many people talk about beauty but : What is beauty and where can it be found ?
Can we see it in some brilliant oceans or in wonderful sunsets ?

Beauty is a merely superficial thing.
Seemingly a continually developing ideal. The humanity has been obsessed with the concept of beauty throughout the ages. Portraiture, as an essential way of visual communication, has traditionally been the medium through which definitions of beauty are graphically expressed.
Now there are many conceptions about beauty and its importance, in today’s society. In a time when physical beauty can be of total importance, we seem to be at a loss of it. What is beauty and where can it be found?

A very popular saying goes “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder!”
Many people have different views on what they consider to be beautiful. Someone would view somebody as unattractive but it could also be very beautiful in someone else’s eyes.

The world today defines beauty based on outward appearances alone. You aren‘t beautiful if you aren‘t physically attractive. According to the world’s standards, beauty means being thin and tall. A clear complexion, shiny hair, straight teeth, radiant skin, and correct proportions are elements of beauty.

Many expressions used to discuss beauty such as "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder" and "Beauty runs only skin deep" they stimulate different opinions and create controversy, but the most notorious of all is that "A beautiful appearance doesn`t last forever!”.
So beauty can also be determined by a person’s personality and not necessarily by their appearance. The most unattractive person can also show beautiful characteristics and it will conceal their appearance.

So I agree with the statement “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” because beauty comes from within your soul.
Each person has different ideas and tastes. Ideas on what is beautiful vary from person to person.
Frage von *jojo* (ehem. Mitglied) | am 15.04.2009 - 17:24


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7		 Antwort von Timea | 15.04.2009 - 19:55
Beauty is merely a superficial thing. Seemingly a continually developing ideal. Humanity has been obsessed with the concept of beauty throughout the ages. Portraiture, as an essential way of visual communication, has traditionally been the medium through which definitions of beauty are graphically expressed.

Now there are many conceptions about beauty and its importance in today’s society. In a time when physical beauty can be of total importance, we seem to be at a loss of it. What is beauty and where can it be found?

A very popular saying goes “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder!”
Many people have different views on what they consider to be beautiful. Someone might regard somebody as unattractive but at the same time this very person can also be really beautiful in someone else’s eyes.

The world today defines beauty based on outward appearances alone. You aren‘t beautiful if you aren‘t physically attractive. According to the world’s standards, beauty means being thin and tall. A clear complexion, shiny hair, straight teeth, radiant skin, and correct proportions are elements of beauty.

Many expressions used to discuss beauty such as "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder" and "Beauty runs only skin deep". They stimulate different opinions and create controversy, but the most notorious of all is that "A beautiful appearance doesn’t last forever!”.
So beauty can also be determined by a person’s personality and not necessarily by their appearance. The most unattractive person can also show beautiful characteristics and it will conceal their appearance.

So I agree with the statement “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” because beauty comes from within your soul.
Each person has different ideas and tastes. Ideas on what is beautiful vary from person to person.


hab einige Kleinigkeiten geändert, aber stimme der ersten Antwort zu, nicht wirklich viele gravierende Fehler ;)

und bestimmt nicht vonner Übersetzungsmaschine O.o

Liebe Grüße

 
 Antwort von GAST | 15.04.2009 - 17:27
I think it`s very nice ^^ ;)


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13		 Antwort von *jojo* (ehem. Mitglied) | 15.04.2009 - 17:36
Das hört sich doch schonmal gut an :))


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808		 Antwort von cleosulz | 15.04.2009 - 19:47
Hast du das bei PROMT-Translator von deutsch in englisch übersetzen lassen?
Sieht jedenfalls so aus. Satzstellung?
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13		 Antwort von *jojo* (ehem. Mitglied) | 15.04.2009 - 19:49
nee habe ich nicht ^^ komplett schlecht oder wie?


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7		 Antwort von Timea | 15.04.2009 - 19:55
Beauty is merely a superficial thing. Seemingly a continually developing ideal. Humanity has been obsessed with the concept of beauty throughout the ages. Portraiture, as an essential way of visual communication, has traditionally been the medium through which definitions of beauty are graphically expressed.

Now there are many conceptions about beauty and its importance in today’s society. In a time when physical beauty can be of total importance, we seem to be at a loss of it. What is beauty and where can it be found?

A very popular saying goes “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder!”
Many people have different views on what they consider to be beautiful. Someone might regard somebody as unattractive but at the same time this very person can also be really beautiful in someone else’s eyes.

The world today defines beauty based on outward appearances alone. You aren‘t beautiful if you aren‘t physically attractive. According to the world’s standards, beauty means being thin and tall. A clear complexion, shiny hair, straight teeth, radiant skin, and correct proportions are elements of beauty.

Many expressions used to discuss beauty such as "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder" and "Beauty runs only skin deep". They stimulate different opinions and create controversy, but the most notorious of all is that "A beautiful appearance doesn’t last forever!”.
So beauty can also be determined by a person’s personality and not necessarily by their appearance. The most unattractive person can also show beautiful characteristics and it will conceal their appearance.

So I agree with the statement “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder” because beauty comes from within your soul.
Each person has different ideas and tastes. Ideas on what is beautiful vary from person to person.


hab einige Kleinigkeiten geändert, aber stimme der ersten Antwort zu, nicht wirklich viele gravierende Fehler ;)

und bestimmt nicht vonner Übersetzungsmaschine O.o

Liebe Grüße


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Beiträge 11943
808		 Antwort von cleosulz | 15.04.2009 - 19:58
Kann ich schlecht beurteilen, mein Englisch ist total mies. Grammatik und Satzstellung passten bei mir nie zusammen.
Ich habe lediglich spasshalber deinen englischen Text bei Promt eingegeben und eine total stimmige deutsche Übersetzung bekommen.
Das passiert bei "eigenen Übersetzungen" bei mir sonst nie.
Das kam mir "spanisch" vor.
Ist der Text für das Essay von dir selbst? :-)
________________________
 e-Hausaufgaben.de - Team

 
 Antwort von GAST | 16.04.2009 - 01:26
Kannte das PROMT-Dings gar nicht und hab eben mal nachgesehen.

Zitat:
Porträtmalerei, als ein wesentlicher Weg der Sehkommunikation, ist das Medium traditionell gewesen, durch das Definitionen der Schönheit grafisch ausgedrückt werden. Jetzt gibt es viele Vorstellungen über die Schönheit und seine Wichtigkeit in der heutigen Gesellschaft. In einer Zeit, wenn physische Schönheit von Gesamtwichtigkeit sein kann, scheinen wir davon nicht mehr ein und aus zu wissen.


Zitat:
Ich habe lediglich spasshalber deinen englischen Text bei Promt eingegeben und eine total stimmige deutsche Übersetzung bekommen.


"total stimmig".....? ;)


Jojo, schöner Essay. Wenn ich was anzumerken habe, dann nur, dass man in Schulaufsätzen auf korrekte Grammatik und Satzstellung achten sollte - dazu gehören auch halbe bzw. unvollständige Sätze.

Dem hier, "Seemingly a continually developing ideal." fehlt ein Verb. Das stört zwar nicht viel, weil man deinem restlichen Essay entnehmen kannst, dass du eigentlich weißt, wie man vollständige englische Sätze schreibst, trotzdem kann das zu Missverständnissen führen, also lieber lassen.

Stilmittel dürfen Schüler, wie wir alle wissen, nur bei anderen analysieren, eher ungern selber benutzen. ;) Unfair, aber wahr.

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