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Summary kontrollieren, bitte

Frage: Summary kontrollieren, bitte
(14 Antworten)

 
Ich muss ein summary zu einem text schreiben und weiß nich ob ich es richtig geschrieben habe. Kann mir jemand helfen?


Der text!

Can the internet really change society?

Clifford Stoll, astronomer, author and internet prophet turns against the internet.

Stoll`s early writing on the internet made it look romantic and exviting. More recently, his Silicon Snak Oil - Second Thoughts on the Information Hoghway takes a different view.
Computers are not the problem. I love computers. I have lots of them. But they are being promoted in ways and places where they don`t belong.
And that, for Stoll, is nearly everywhere.
All the time I hear that if you`re not online, than you`re sitting at the station while the train`s leaving. But I look around me and I see the bulk of jobs- waitress who brings us our coffee, the politican, themovie director- where the computer is, at most, at the periphery.
But hastn`t computer literacy become a necessary skill like ordinary literacy?
Well, yes. Exept that we are putting so much emphasis on computer literacy that we are forgetting many other things.
In the USA, school computer labs are being built where the music room and the art room used to be. Soon they will be where the gym used to be. Im 20 years time we will have a country full of computer-literate people who have lost touch with what`s important in society.
My complaint is not with the companies trying to sell their stuff. It`s with the general population accepting this without any thought.
Stoll picks up a paper napkin and draws a triangle. At the three corners he writes the words `good`, `fast` and `cheap`. Anything we can have in the world can only be on one of these lines, he explains. It can be cheap and fast, or good and fast, or good and cheap. If I want a cheap and fast meal, I`ll eat at McDonald`s. If I want a cheap and good meal, I`ll eat at home, but it won`t be fast. And if I want a good and fast meal, I`ll eat at an expansive restaurant, but it won`t be cheap.
Now, the internet is cheap and fast but is it good?
Stoll has deep doubts. Internet hustlers push the internet as a solution to the world`s problems. The key ingredient in their silicon snake oil is a belief that computers will make a better society, that better communications can cure social problems. Well, I don`t believe them.
There are no simple technological solutions to social problems. Access to auniverse of information cannot solve them: we will always struggle to understand one another.


Mein summary!

I want to summerize the following text called "Can the internet really chabge society?" and is written as a review by Clifford Stoll.
The text deals with the computer literary wich is more and more interesting for the people in the world.
Stoll is a astronomer, author and internet prophet turns against the internet. In the beginning he describe that people do not need computers because there are many jobs in wich you don`t need computers and the main problem is that they forgot other more important things. On the second part of the text Stoll concentrate on the schoolproblems in the USA, where are more computer rooms instead art and music rooms.
At the end of the text he wonders if the internet is good or not.
Finally he write that the internet would never solve world`s or social problems. But he loves the bic quote of informations.
GAST stellte diese Frage am 12.09.2008 - 22:10

 
Antwort von GAST | 12.09.2008 - 22:31
ersteinmal: he-she-it: s muss mit!

vor vokalen steht der unbestimmte artikel `a` als `an`: an astronomer!

he is an astro... ...who stands

`more ... than` nicht: `more ... instead`

schoolproblems ist eine erfundene vokabel... hier wirst du etwas anderes schreiben muessen. `he discribes situation at schools,
where...`

du koenntest auch aus langen, unuebersichtlichen saetzen, in denen du mehr als einen gedanken umsetzen moechtest, zwei einfach verstaendliche machen. das hilft dir und deiner leerkraft [:)].

der einleitungssatz mag zwar deinen lehrer entzuecken, im echten leben benutzt den aber wirklich niemand.
sieh mal in eine fernsehzeitung, oder lies dir einen klappentext durch. da sind zumeist summaries wie sie sein sollen. ohne schulkind-einleitungssatz. und ganz ehrlich: du lernst fuer`s leben, nicht fuer einen lehrer!

bic quote of informations - [abgesehen davon, dass information immer ohne s geschrieben wird: ] was willst du damit ausdurecken?

 
Antwort von GAST | 12.09.2008 - 23:15
aha ok danke erst mal :)

 
Antwort von GAST | 13.09.2008 - 12:18
kann mir vieleicht noch jemadn helfen?

 
Antwort von GAST | 13.09.2008 - 12:33
wo is denn das problem?

was moechtest du mit `...deals with the computer literary which...` aussagen?

 
Antwort von GAST | 13.09.2008 - 12:48
The text "Can the internet really change society?" written as a review by Clifford Stoll, deals with the computer literary which is more and more interesting for the people in the world.
Stoll is an astronomer, author and internet prophet who turns against the internet. In the beginning he describes that people do not need computers because there are many jobs in which you don`t need computers. The main problem of today`s society is that the people forgot that there are other more important things in the world. In the second part of the text, Stoll concentrates on the problems in American schools, where they have more computer rooms than art and music rooms.
At the end of the text he wonders if the internet is a good invention or not and he mentions that the internet would never solve world`s or social problems.

Ich habe nicht überprüft, ob dein Summary vom Inhaltlichen richtig ist, habe es aber vom Sprachlichen etwas geändert und umgeschrieben.

 
Antwort von GAST | 13.09.2008 - 21:09
oh Danke :) hmmm ist er aber nun Inhaltlich richtig?

 
Antwort von GAST | 13.09.2008 - 22:33
Hilfe :( ich bitte um hilfe :(

 
Antwort von GAST | 14.09.2008 - 12:32
seid ihr auch so schlecht in Englisch, oder warum kann mir denn kaeiner helfen? :(

 
Antwort von GAST | 14.09.2008 - 16:24
wat ist denn heute los? möchte mir keiner helfen?


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Antwort von jugostyle (ehem. Mitglied) | 15.09.2008 - 14:55
aklso was möchtest du jetzt genau wissen einfach nur obs inhaltlich richtig ist?

 
Antwort von GAST | 15.09.2008 - 16:33
ja genau :) undob ich noch etwas verbessern könnte :)

 
Antwort von GAST | 15.09.2008 - 22:20
:( wer beantwortet denn nun meine frage? es gibt eine belohnung auf hilfreiche antworten :(


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Antwort von Palsafluf (ehem. Mitglied) | 15.09.2008 - 22:29
The text "Can the internet really change society?" written as a review by Clifford Stoll, deals with the computer literacy which is more and more interesting the people in the world.
Stoll is an astronomer, author and internet prophet who turns against the internet. In the beginning he describes that people do not need computers because there are many jobs in which you don`t need computers. The main problem of today`s society is that people forget that there is a world without a computer or the internet. In the second part of the text, Stoll concentrates on the problems in American schools, where they have more computer rooms than art and music rooms.
At the end of the text he doubts that the internet is a good invention and finally he wonders if the internet would ever solve the problems of our world.

Inhaltlich und auch rechtschreibmäßig verbessert ;-)

 
Antwort von GAST | 16.09.2008 - 18:51
hat jemadn noch eine idee?

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