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Englisch-Korrektur

Frage: Englisch-Korrektur
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Hallo Leute,
könnt ihr mir bitte mein Text verbessern..
Danke im Voraus :)

Amok run of Winnenden


With the amok run in the Albertville secondary school in Winnenden 17-year-old Tim K. arranged on the 11th of March, 2009 a massacre, took a hostage, delivered to himself a gunfight with the police and hunted afterwards a ball in the head. 16 people lost her life.

The awful amok run of Winnenden had become possible because the father of the culprit had kept his selfloading gun against all weapon-juridical regulations open in the wardrobe with himself in the bedroom and not as prescribed in a weapon safe deposit, therefore the son Tim had had unchecked access to the action weapon.

After the amok run a political discussion about an increase of the weapon right began. In particular it was suggested forbidding to private individuals as well as sports protection, keeping her weapons at home. Protection associations would have to be obliged to keep the weapons in the associations. There can be exceptions, possibly for foresters or hunters. However, have rejected the inside mister of the alliance and some of the countries an increase of the weapon right; with the grounds that a change of the weapon right could not have changed the action. The editions are quite strict and the access to weapons are almost impossible for youngsters.

After many discussions about the law change it was fixed, finally that shooting exercises with large-calibre weapons are permitted in future only from 18 years. Up to now youngsters may already shoot from 14 years with sharp weapons.

In the 3rd anniversary after the amok run in 2012 the government presidium of Stuttgart informed that since the action up to now 135,000 weapons were delivered. The number of the registered weapons has decreased with it in Baden-Wurttemberg by about 15 percent.
Frage von aksaray68 | am 30.12.2014 - 22:07


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Antwort von franzi.2624 | 07.02.2015 - 11:12
Amok run of Winnenden

With the amok run in the Albertville secondary school in Winnenden 17-year-old Tim K. arranged on the 11th of March,
2009 a massacre, took a hostage, delivered to himself a gunfight with the police and hunted afterwards a ball in the head. 16 people lost their life.

The awful amok run of Winnenden become possible because the father of the culprit had kept his selfloading gun against all weapon-juridical regulations open in the wardrobe with himself in the bedroom and not as prescribed in a weapon safe deposit, therefore the son Tim had unchecked access to the action weapon.

After the amok run a political discussion about an increase of the weapon right had began. In particular it was suggested forbidding to private individuals as well as sports protection, keeping her weapons at home. Protection associations would have to be obliged to keep the weapons in the associations. There can be exceptions, possibly for foresters or hunters. However, have rejected the inside mister of the alliance and some of the countries an increase of the weapon right; with the grounds that a change of the weapon right could not have changed the action. The editions were quite strict and the access to weapons (were) almost impossible for youngsters.

After many discussions about the law had changed it was fixed, finally that shooting exercises with large-calibre weapons are permitted in future only from 18 years. Up to now youngsters may already shoot from 14 years with sharp weapons.

In the 3rd anniversary after the amok had run in 2012 the government presidium of Stuttgart informed that since the action up to now 135,000 weapons were delivered. The number of the registered weapons has decreased with it in Baden-Wurttemberg by about 15 percent.

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