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Einleitungssatz einer Summary

Frage: Einleitungssatz einer Summary
(3 Antworten)


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Hallo,

ich bin gerade dabei eine summary zu schreiben über den Text "What makes us moral" by Jeffrey Kluger.
Dazu hab ich mir eine Checkliste besorgt, da ja viele wesentliche Infos in den ersten Satz müssen!

Title: What makes us moral
Source: Time - Magazine
Sort of text: article
Name: Jeffrey Kluger
Date: 21 November 2007
What about: Is about the paradox of moral behaviour of human beings.
- Kennt ihr den Text? Ich denke mal, wäre eine treffende Kurzbeschreibung.

Der Einleitungssatz würde lauten.


[COLOR="#0000CD"]The article "What makes us moral" by Jeffrey Kluger, which was (?) published in the Time-Magazine on 21 November of 2007, is all about the paradox of moral behaviour of human beings.[/COLOR]

Wäre alles im Satz drin? Ist der Ausdruck gut, gibt es grammatische Fehler

(?) Ich darf ja bei einer summary nur Simple Present; Present Progressive und Present Perfect nutzen. "was published" ist doch aber Simple Past passiv. Wäre das im Einleitungssatz noch gestattet?

LG
Frage von SlipStreamzz (ehem. Mitglied) | am 16.09.2012 - 09:48


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Antwort von Roma. (ehem. Mitglied) | 16.09.2012 - 11:38
Ja,
da es nichts inhaltliches ist, wann es veröffentlicht wurde.

und es heißt soweit ich weiß in 21 November 2007. :)


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Antwort von SlipStreamzz (ehem. Mitglied) | 16.09.2012 - 13:02
Hier mal die ganze summary, ich hoffe die ist gut, habe mir echt Mühe gegeben


The article „What makes us moral“ by Jeffrey Kluger, which was published in the Time-Magazine on 21 November 2007, is about the paradox of moral behaviour of human beings.
This text is divided into ten paragraphs.
Firstly, human beings are mind-boggling creatures. On the one hand we are there for each other and give voluntaryly organs from our bodies to others. On the other hand we are responsible for wars and discrimination against outsiders.
Furthermore using a language and tools does not make us unique in comparison with animals but our comprehension for good and bad, right and wrong differs us clearly from animal kingdom.
These sense of morality is an inborn quality. Even though it is given us from birth onwards we need moral teaching as result of big differences between moral judgment and moral behaviour. In the following the author argues, that it is quite normal to favour their own tribe. That´s the reason why it´s a problem to apply the same moral treatment to human beings outside our troop.
Additionally the differences between „insiders“ and „outsiders“ are clearly everywhere and are often principal reasons for wars. It is evident, that we have to treat everyone equally.
All in all human beings have this sense of morality. We know what is right or wrong but at the same time we are the cruelles species on earth. Our acting is responsible for wars and discrimination against outsiders.


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Antwort von goldenoldie (ehem. Mitglied) | 16.09.2012 - 16:22
Zitat:
The article „What makes us moral“ by Jeffrey Kluger, [---](1) published in [--]Time-Magazine [---]November 21, 2007, is about the paradox of the (2) moral behaviour of human beings.
This text is divided into ten paragraphs.
Firstly,(2a) human beings (3) are characterized as mind-boggling creatures. On the one hand we (3) are there for each other and
voluntarily give organs from our bodies to others. On the other hand we are responsible for wars and discrimination against outsiders.
Furthermore using a language and tools does not make us unique in comparison with animals but our comprehension for good and bad, right and wrong clearly distinguishes us {---]from animals.[---?]4).
These sense of morality is an inborn quality. Even though it is given
to us with our birth [--] we need moral teaching as
a result of the big differences between moral judgment and moral behaviour. In the following the author argues [---] (5)that it is quite normal to favour one`s(3) own tribe. That is(6) the reason why it is (6) a problem to apply the same moral treatment to human beings outside our troop(7).
Additionally the differences between „insiders“ and „outsiders“ are
clear everywhere and they are often principal the reasons for wars. It is evident ((5) that we have to treat everyone equally.
All in all human beings have this sense of morality. We know what is right or wrong but at the same time we are the cruelest species on earth. Our acting is responsible for wars and discrimination against outsiders


Anmerkungen:

1) durch die Verwendung des part.Perfekt hier wird der Satz gefälliger.
2) best.Artikel notwendig, da das Abstraktum "moral b." durch of... näher bestimmt wird.
2a) wenn du schon "firstly" sagst, dann erwartet man irgendwann auch mal ein "secondly".
3)du wechselst häufig zwischen allgemein "human being" und konkretem "we"
4) warum denn hier "kingdom? (wenn, dann the kingdom of animals)
5) kein Komma vor "that" als Objektsatz.
6) die Kurzformen " `s" werden nur bei der Wiedergabe wörtlicher Rede verwendet; nicht in formalen Texten.
7) troop? (besser: group / tribe /relatives / clan)

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