Wollte fragen ob das richtig ist...englisch

Hi,

also..
wir haben ne arbeit geschriben und ich habe das abgeschrieben damit ic schon weiß ob uich fehler habe :D
also hier sollte ich ein brief an meinen freund schicken und über mein abentuer auf ein schiff erzäheln
Hey Brian,

i want to tell you Something about my lovely Holiday! I was aboard on a ocean liner,it was so cool! And the Weather was great!
But the Weather was suddenly changed! astom coming up! But luckely the storm was ending after 2 hours!
A day after it was excited too!
While i was talking to my firend a whale came out of the water! it was so excited because i had never seen it before!
Then we were watching whales how they hnting robbes! Or we were sun bathing,it was so hot!
It was a nice Time! And luckely we had a happy end

your best friend,

****


und hier ein bewerbungsschreiben an einer modelshow warum sie mich nehmen sollten..

Dear Mr or Madom,

i very interested about the star casting. Im really good at acting! Iwould like to out in a commercial! its my dream. And i heard from my firends that i have the interesting voice all over europe and its a reason why you take me to the casting..


Was für eine Zensur würdet ihr mir geben?

Danke!