Bitte um Korrektur

Wenn ihr Texte anfertigt, ganz egal, worum es sich handelt, sieht es immer gut aus, wenn ihr connectives benutzt, die die Sätze flüssiger machen wie z.B thus, furthermore, in addition, on the one hand..on the other hand, despite the fact etc. Erst diese connectives leiten einem dazu, es zu lesen und der Lehrer hat letztendlich auch Spaß dran.

I have been interested in globalisation for a long time. Thus I`am planning to make a course about globalization at school this year. Aside form that, I was very pleased, when I read an interesting article about the aspects of globalization in the local newspaper, which contained a lot of informations about the process of globalization, the way it spreads and of course the fears and hopes, which is linked with it. According to experts, the term "globalization" defines/describes countries that are becoming interconnected, not only economically but also culturally. Nevertheless, many people are concerned about..corporations and mention that..might become extinct. Even...by English, since it dominates the areas of business and travel. Globalization, however, has also positive aspects like the dynamic process, which gives underdeveloped countries more opportunities (Beispiele/Examples) and so are the investments of foreign countries. In this way, the countries are able to...In conclusion/ After all/ , the article was quiet controversial, however, it brought me to think "als Beispiel" about the future of our world.

Habs bisschen schnell durchgelesen, falls irgendwelche Fehler vorhanden sind, können andere es noch überprüfen.

Du solltest bzw. musst wirklich versuchen "connectives" zu verwenden, denn gerade diese Wörter bringen einem dazu, es durchzulesen und gerade durch diese Wörter kann sich deine Note um einiges verbessern. Es kommt IMMER gut an, also versuche Texte zu schreibe und mache es dir zur Gewohnheit, diese zu verwenden.

Sonst war es in Ordnung.