Englisch - Bitte um Korrektur!

Hallo, ich bin leider nicht so gut in englisch... habe einen text verfasst und würde jmd bitten ihn mal duchzulesen und zu korregieren... auch grammatik!

teilweise fehlen da zusammenhänge, da ich noch nicht fertig bin... wäre euch aber sehr sehr dankbar! =)
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George Khan is a Pakistani and lives since 1937 in Britain. When he came to Great Britain he had nothing. Today he owns a Fish ‘n’ Chips stall and has been married to Ella. She is a British woman with Irish background. But George also has a first wife in Pakistan, that is not unusual for Moslems.
They are married since 25 years and have seven children, six sons and one daughter. Other Muslim men envy him his six sons, because it is a real privilege to have many sons in the Islam. Now he lives in Salford, Manchester. But he wants to move to Belford, because there live more Moslems.

Men and women are not allowed to live in one room, so the boys have one room and only two beds and their sister has her own bed and her own room.


Traditions are very important for him and he is very proud of his culture. He regards Muslim formalities highly and is very religious.
His children have regularly to go to Qur’anic school and are not allowed to miss the mosque attendance.
George makes the rules at home and everyone has to do what he says.
He can say what their children have to wear and to do, he decides what is right for them and what is not. They have to demonstrate respect for him. When his children do not obey it is like a punishment for him. The main aspect of good breeding is discipline.
Sometimes George beats and offends his children and also his wife. In Pakistani society it is not forbidden when the children or wife do contradict the head of the family.
George thinks that he knows what is the best for his family and it is very important for him what other people think about them. He wants to show to the others that he is a strict father with children like every Muslim is dreaming of.

When George learned that his youngest son Sajid was not circumcised he became furious. Circumcision is preferred in Islam so every real Muslim has to be circumcised. George forces his son do to that and is really happy after that procedure. He gives his son an Arabic watch and a bathrobe as presents.

For Moslems it is forbidden to eat pork, smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. Women are also not allowed to dress revealingly, that is a shame (69:20).

Arranged marriages belong in Pakistan to the everyday life, so George chooses wives for his sons without their knowledge.
It is only male preserve to arrange marriages and it reposes on prosperity and connections. But Nazir, the oldest son refused to marry a woman he have not seen before and ran away from home. That decision of his son hurt George so much that he says that Nazir is not his son anymore, he says that he is dead (34:18).

Of his other sons he demands that they have a good, typically male job, for example engineer, and he does not accept artistic career.
He wants his children to look sleek and impact good on the others. He does not want his children to be like British teenagers. In his view British people are badly brought up, they do forbidden things and are good for nothing.

For Pakistanis hospitality is very important and they always have to be caring to fellow men.
Another important aspect is family ties. When the family Khan comes to the cinema of their uncle he sends the other viewers away and changes the film only because of his relatives. At that moment money or unsatisfied visitors are not as important as entertainment of his brother’s family (36:20).