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Korrektur summary

Frage: Korrektur summary
(3 Antworten)

 
hi,
würde mich freuen wenn ihr mal kurz eine Hausaufgabe für morgen in Bezug auf Rechtschreibung, Satzbau und Ausdruck durchguckt.
Vor allem bei den letzten beiden Absätzen bin ich mir sehr unsicher. Wundert euch nicht über die eigene Meinung in einer Zusammenfassung, unser Lehrer möchte das so:

Zitat:
The corporation

The documentary „The corporation“ analyses big companies’ behaviour towards society and the environmental effect caused by their method of operating.
In the beginning it looks at the history of corporations, their progress during the industrial revolution and their legitimisation as a person in the eyes of the law.

Based on their legal form the film tries to apply psychological characteristics, which normally qualify an individual person as a psychopath - e.g. callous unconcern for the feelings of other, reckless disregard for the safety of others, incapacity to experience guilt, etc - to corporations in general. By comparing these characteristics with several documented actions of known companies in the United States, the film makes the conclusion that all prerequisites to call a corporation a psychopath are fulfilled. Additionally the profit-orientated attitude is said to be one of the biggest weak spots of corporations, because this attitude contradicts the public good.

Other abuses of corporations include insufficient transparency, a wide influence on politics, self-management without strict regulation, by-products, which are environmentally and healthy harmful, manipulating advertisement and privatisation of basic necessities.

Although the creator of the film interviews cooperation critics as well as CEOs of popular companies, it is pretty obvious that the film’s intention is focus the audience on the negative aspects of corporations. So while the statements could speak for itself, the creator uses dramatically footage to cause consternation and empathy at the viewer’s .
Furthermore there are much more examples of adverse than favourable corporations.

In my opinion the film shows very plainly that the previous regulation for corporations doesn’t work. On the one hand I agree completely at the point that everyone of us has to take care that corporations don’t act against general good and environmental aspects but on the other hand I think in reality only an independent international institution with the possibility to impose rigorous sanctions would probably has the capability to ensure this.


LG Esto
GAST stellte diese Frage am 27.05.2010 - 20:07

 
Antwort von GAST | 27.05.2010 - 21:41
The documentary „The corporation“ analyses big companies’ the behaviour of big companies towards society and the environmental effects caused by their methods of operating.
In the beginning the film looks at the history of corporations, their progress during the industrial revolution and their legitimisation as a person corporate body in the eyes of the law.

Based on the legal form of these corporations the film tries to apply psychological characteristics, which normally qualify an individual person as a psychopath - e.g.
callous unconcern for the feelings of others, reckless disregard for the safety of others, incapacity of experiencing guilt, etc(1)- to corporations
them in general. By comparing these characteristics with several documented actions of known companies in the United States, the film makes comes to the conclusion that all prerequisites of calling a corporation a psychopath are fulfilled. Additionally the profit-orientated attitude is said to be one of the biggest weak spots of corporations, because this attitude contradicts the public good.

Other abuses of corporations include insufficient transparency, a wide influence on politics, self-management without strict regulation, by-products, which are harmful to environmentally and health, manipulating advertisement and privatisation of basic necessities.

Although the creator maker of the film has interviewed cooperation critics as well as CEOs of popular companies, it is pretty becomes obvious that the film’s intention is to focus the audience on the negative aspects of corporations. So while the statements could speak for itself themselves, the creator maker uses dramatical footage to cause consternation and empathy with the viewers.
Furthermore there are much many more examples of adverse than of favourable corporations.

In my opinion the film shows very plainly shows that the
previouscurrent regulations for corporations don’t work. On the one hand I agreecompletely agree with the point that everyone of us has to take care that corporations don’t act against general good and environmental aspects but on the other hand I think that in reality only an independent international institution with the possibility authority to impose rigorous sanctions would will probably have the capability power to ensure this.

1) never use "etc" in a term paper

my corrections: fett = verbessert bzw. eingefügt; schräg = gestrichen

old-but-alert

 
Antwort von GAST | 28.05.2010 - 18:28
vielen lieben Dank, das hat mir sehr weitergeholfen :)

 
Antwort von GAST | 29.05.2010 - 11:39
Oh ja, Danke, es ist noch schön erleben zu dürfen, dass es junge Menschen gibt, die wissen, was sich "gehört", "danke" reicvht schon, es müssen ja nichzt viretuelle Knickse oder "Diener" sein.

old- but-alert

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